Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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I don't have to explain why I've spent money, that's the thing! As long as bills get paid, we eat and some money gets put in the savings, I can spend £700 on coilovers without it being a problem.
I don't ubderstand how people get married and still have separate finances to be honest, screams of lack of trust to me.
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Gary
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Not at all.
Just because we are a couple dnt mean we have to do everything as a couple.
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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I agree. Finances though, especially if you're married, it's pretty normal to do things as a couple.
My Mrs has been ill for a week so her wages are down this month, whichever way it's done, our finances are down anyway, makes no difference if it's all in one pot or not.
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Pop
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Registered: 8th May 03
Location: Reading
User status: Offline
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We both pay in all our money into the joint account and take out an equal amount each, to do with as we like.
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Graham88
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Registered: 16th Apr 07
Location: South East Kent Drives: E46 M3
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It's not lack of trust at all Robin, it's the fact that we have our own individual amounts of money left after everything necessary is paid. Once that's gone it's gone. If it was all in 1 pot it would be hard to judge and unfair IMO.
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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People who pay into one pot are basically just being scared of getting dumped so they try and manipulate some security by tying some money up in the relationship
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Ben J
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Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
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If your married, telling someone their "dumped" doesn't really cut it Steve.
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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They're
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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You're
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
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But yeah, more talking about people that are just gf bf that do it really.
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Andrew
Member
Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
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quote:
Originally posted by Ben J
If your married, telling someone their "dumped" doesn't really cut it Steve.
I try it all the time, she just won't leave 
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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Bullshit. You know full well you'd struggle to find another
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Graham88
It's not lack of trust at all Robin, it's the fact that we have our own individual amounts of money left after everything necessary is paid. Once that's gone it's gone. If it was all in 1 pot it would be hard to judge and unfair IMO.
Unfair? Hard to judge?
I really don't get this.
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John
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Registered: 30th Jun 03
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What if your wife isn't into doing up old cars? She then wouldn't be happy with you spending loads of joint money doing that.
Your particular situation it seems that you both want the same stuff anyway. In my situation, I buy loads of shit, would never get away with it in a joint account.
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Ben J
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve
You're
Wouldn't think I teach English would you
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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We have a joint account and the other half pays in about 40% of the mortgage and council tax bills. They get £300 a month in Sainsburys vouchers tax free from work, and I always end up paying for gas, electricity, internet, phone, sky etc. The joint account is also used for things like meals out and trips away, but I inevitably end up having to pay more Into there from my personal account to stop it going overdrawn as I earn a fair bit more than they do!
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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They 
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A2H GO
Member
Registered: 14th Sep 04
Location: Stoke
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by John
What if your wife isn't into doing up old cars? She then wouldn't be happy with you spending loads of joint money doing that.
Your particular situation it seems that you both want the same stuff anyway. In my situation, I buy loads of shit, would never get away with it in a joint account.
Exactly this.
I bought a Mac not long ago, bought an iPhone 5S, bought a monitor last night. The Mrs hardly ever buys anything of any significent expense. Joint account with all our money in (given we both earn the same) would soon cause arguments. This is nothing to do with trust.
On the flip side, she's perfectly happy with me walking in with new shit because we split everything 50/50 and what's left is mine to do what I like with.
Putting all your money in a joint account sounds to me like a way of getting what you want because you can't afford it on your own.
[Edited on 07-11-2013 by A2H GO]
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mwg
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
They
must have a fleet of wives/girlfriends
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Ben J
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by A2H GO
quote:
Originally posted by John
What if your wife isn't into doing up old cars? She then wouldn't be happy with you spending loads of joint money doing that.
Your particular situation it seems that you both want the same stuff anyway. In my situation, I buy loads of shit, would never get away with it in a joint account.
Exactly this.
I bought a Mac not long ago, bought an iPhone 5S, bought a monitor last night. The Mrs hardly ever buys anything of any significent expense. Joint account with all our money in (given we both earn the same) would soon cause arguments. This is nothing to do with trust.
On the flip side, she's perfectly happy with me walking in with new shit because we split everything 50/50 and what's left is mine to do what I like with.
Putting all your money in a joint account sounds to me like a way of getting what you want because you can't afford it on your own.
[Edited on 07-11-2013 by A2H GO]
Can't believe so many people struggle with the concept of a joint account with both salaries going in fully. Especially when married.
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John
Member
Registered: 30th Jun 03
User status: Offline
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I don't struggle with the concept, just choose not to.
Your opinion might also be significantly different if you wear the main bread winner. I wonder if your wife's genuine opinion is the same.
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Ben J
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Its isn't about who earns more. Its about how much we bring in as a couple. My wife couldn't GAF that she's the breadwinner. We live within our means of our combined salaries. I even had this discussion with her prompted by this thread and she couldn't understand why married people would have their "own" money.
If she wants something and its within our means, she will get it, same for me.
Also, "I" have contributed large amount of invested/saved money to our marriage so "I'm" actually much more "cash rich" out of the 2 of us if you look at it that way, but we don't. Its all shared.
[Edited on 07-11-2013 by Ben J]
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John
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Registered: 30th Jun 03
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Would it be the same if you had less money and couldn't go out and buy fancy bikes?
I'm not saying it's a bad thing, if it's working for you it's obviously good. However, the same as you wondering how people are struggling with the concept of everything in one bag, the same goes for having separate amounts.
Also seems to be a bit of a line between the married/non married from this thread. I think total earnings will be playing a bigger role.
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Ben J
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by John
Would it be the same if you had less money and couldn't go out and buy fancy bikes?
I'm not saying it's a bad thing, if it's working for you it's obviously good. However, the same as you wondering how people are struggling with the concept of everything in one bag, the same goes for having separate amounts.
Also seems to be a bit of a line between the married/non married from this thread. I think total earnings will be playing a bigger role.
I had one pretty good bike. That's all. Wasn't that special. "Had" being the key word.
But if Jen earned the same as me, we'd obviously still live within our means, so no fancy bikes etc.
[Edited on 07-11-2013 by Ben J]
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John
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Registered: 30th Jun 03
User status: Offline
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I think that adds an additional strain. If you want stuff that you can't afford, putting everything into 1 pot and watching what the other person is spending makes it not quite so good.
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