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Ben J

Member

Registered: 31st Jan 05
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline

12th Jan 16 at 14:01

Seriously Steve, once married with kids, some saggage is the last of your worries.

Steve

Premium Member

Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline

12th Jan 16 at 14:15

I dont want any worries

Ricky352

Member

Registered: 6th Apr 07
Location: Lisburn, N.I.
User status: Offline

12th Jan 16 at 15:07

I'm 27 and have no kids, and am nowhere near it either. Have secured an alright job and a mortgage, so I suppose a wife and kids could be next (although I know this is up for debate). Not everly keen on kids at the minute, but I'm assuming if/once I settle down with a woman it will all fall into place.

I know a fella who is about 50 and has no kids or wife. He's always out socialising and doing outdoor activites like fishing and out on the scrambler. Looks like a good way to spend life, but I think I'd feel as though I'd missed out on something.

Happy as I am at the minute anyway

Ojc

Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline

12th Jan 16 at 19:22

What in the name of God is going on in here

Member

Registered: 9th Aug 02
Location: Southend, Essex Drives: Mini Cooper S
User status: Offline

10th Feb 16 at 21:47

Yeah so just found out the missus is pregnant. Well on Saturday, just a few hours after getting our mortgage approved. Big changes to come! Big amounts of money to spend! Very happy though

2016 started off shit but is looking up...

Bart

Member

Registered: 19th Aug 02
Location: Midsomer Norton, Bristol Avon
User status: Offline

10th Feb 16 at 22:40

Congrats fella, sounds like exciting times ahead!

Steve

Premium Member

Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 02:21

Sounds shit to me

noshua

Member

Registered: 19th Nov 08
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 05:16

That's cos youre a weirdo steve who still has his mummy wash his underpants
Nice one kz

Gary

Premium Member

Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 07:13

quote:
Originally posted by Steve
Sounds shit to me

Gary

Premium Member

Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 07:18

DaveyLC

Member

Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 09:10

quote:
Originally posted by Gary

Becoming a parent is a serious eye opener when it comes to how much shit by volume compared to body mass a human can produce.

This morning I changed Ben at about 6:30, 3 minutes later while feeding him he shit so badly it squirted out of the sides of the nappy and all over my lap..

The actual process of shitting is just the start of it, trying to clean and change a baby while avoiding them getting the rest of their body covered in shit while they flail around having the time of their life is a major achievement.

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by DaveyLC]

DaveyLC

Member

Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 09:12

quote:
Originally posted by Steve
If my missus got "saggage" she would be straight back down the gym for double sessions. Can't see the appeal in staying with someone you find unattractive, until you get to at least 50

[Edited on 12-01-2016 by Steve]

So is that all a female is to you? Something to look at ?

I'm afraid you will probably die a sad and lonely old man

sxibeast

Member

Registered: 6th Aug 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 10:30

quote:
Originally posted by DaveyLC

quote:
Originally posted by Gary

Becoming a parent is a serious eye opener when it comes to how much shit by volume compared to body mass a human can produce.

This morning I changed Ben at about 6:30, 3 minutes later while feeding him he shit so badly it squirted out of the sides of the nappy and all over my lap..

The actual process of shitting is just the start of it, trying to clean and change a baby while avoiding them getting the rest of their body covered in shit while they flail around having the time of their life is a major achievement.

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by DaveyLC]

And when you think they're done, and your at that split second where you reach for the new nappy, they pee everywhere. And dont stop. Its like a fire hose on overdrive and there is no tap to switch it off.

So what started as a nappy change is now a complete outfit change for the child and yourself, plus all the clean up of pee that flooded the changing mat and has probably run off onto the carpet.

We used to chuck a tea towel over the lad and lie him on one when we would change his nappy, at least it soaked most of it up when he decided h wasn't quite done!

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by sxibeast]

DaveyLC

Member

Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 10:36

quote:
Originally posted by sxibeast

quote:
Originally posted by DaveyLC

quote:
Originally posted by Gary

Becoming a parent is a serious eye opener when it comes to how much shit by volume compared to body mass a human can produce.

This morning I changed Ben at about 6:30, 3 minutes later while feeding him he shit so badly it squirted out of the sides of the nappy and all over my lap..

The actual process of shitting is just the start of it, trying to clean and change a baby while avoiding them getting the rest of their body covered in shit while they flail around having the time of their life is a major achievement.

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by DaveyLC]

And when you think they're done, and your at that split second where you reach for the new nappy, they pee everywhere. And dont stop. Its like a fire hose on overdrive and there is no tap to switch it off.

So what started as a nappy change is now a complete outfit change for the child and yourself, plus all the clean up of pee that flooded the changing mat and has probably run off onto the carpet.

We used to chuck a tea towel over the lad and lie him on one when we would change his nappy, at least it soaked most of it up when he decided h wasn't quite done!

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by sxibeast]

Further compounded by the fact that your misses as inevitably dressed the baby in the most fucking complicated item of clothing known to man.

taylorboosh

Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 07
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 10:44

quote:
Originally posted by DaveyLC

quote:
Originally posted by sxibeast

quote:
Originally posted by DaveyLC

quote:
Originally posted by Gary

Becoming a parent is a serious eye opener when it comes to how much shit by volume compared to body mass a human can produce.

This morning I changed Ben at about 6:30, 3 minutes later while feeding him he shit so badly it squirted out of the sides of the nappy and all over my lap..

The actual process of shitting is just the start of it, trying to clean and change a baby while avoiding them getting the rest of their body covered in shit while they flail around having the time of their life is a major achievement.

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by DaveyLC]

And when you think they're done, and your at that split second where you reach for the new nappy, they pee everywhere. And dont stop. Its like a fire hose on overdrive and there is no tap to switch it off.

So what started as a nappy change is now a complete outfit change for the child and yourself, plus all the clean up of pee that flooded the changing mat and has probably run off onto the carpet.

We used to chuck a tea towel over the lad and lie him on one when we would change his nappy, at least it soaked most of it up when he decided h wasn't quite done!

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by sxibeast]

Further compounded by the fact that your misses as inevitably dressed the baby in the most fucking complicated item of clothing known to man.

Maybe if you werent such a good welder, you would have space for talent to do the simple things in life like wiping your childs arse and nutsack before whacking a fresh nappy on.... Its not hard at all

VrsTurbo

Premium Member

Registered: 8th Jun 10
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 10:56

Mines now late! He was due on Monday!

DaveyLC

Member

Registered: 8th Oct 08
Location: Berkshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 11:11

Late babies are always more relaxed

taylorboosh

Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 07
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 14:30

Yes and if theyre lower theyre a boy etc .....

Ben G

Member

Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 14:41

This page has pretty much reminded me why I don't particularly care for having a kid. Shit on nutsacks and pissing on carpets. Wtf?

My fucking cats are cleaner than these little cunts.

[Edited on 11-02-2016 by Ben G]

Steve

Premium Member

Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 15:49

This page has pretty much reminded me why the modern man is so subservant to women and their demands

Ellis

Member

Registered: 11th Sep 07
Location: Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 15:51

quote:
Originally posted by Ben G
Shit on nutsacks and pissing on carpets.

I've done worse in my 20's

Ellis

Member

Registered: 11th Sep 07
Location: Aberdeenshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 15:52

quote:
Originally posted by Steve
This page has pretty much reminded me why the modern man is so subservant to women and their demands

You sound like Roosh V

Ben G

Member

Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 16:40

quote:
Originally posted by Steve
This page has pretty much reminded me why the modern man is so subservant to women and their demands

I wouldn't say so. Men have been having kids since the dawn of time, hence the reason you and I are here today.

Changing nappies isn't a women's only job, the same way cooking a meal isn't.

Ben G

Member

Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 16:40

quote:
Originally posted by Ellis

quote:
Originally posted by Ben G
Shit on nutsacks and pissing on carpets.

I've done worse in my 20's

I'm 27 and all I've done is throw up outside a pub

Gary

Premium Member

Registered: 22nd Nov 06
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline

11th Feb 16 at 17:04

quote:
Originally posted by Ben G

quote:
Originally posted by Steve
This page has pretty much reminded me why the modern man is so subservant to women and their demands

I wouldn't say so. Men have been having kids since the dawn of time, hence the reason you and I are here today.

Changing nappies isn't a women's only job, the same way cooking a meal isn't.

My Mrs cooks. She's makes my dinner too. Top breadwinner dosent have time for cooking after working and going to the pub you know.

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