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Author Warnings of Alcohol Consumption
Shelly
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Registered: 15th Nov 00
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12th Jun 03 at 10:47   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Due to increasing products liability, alcoholic beverages manufacturers have
accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning label
be placed immediately on all bottles:

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a w@nker.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your clothes.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and
see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can't remember).

Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing
in your home.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical
Kung-Fu powers.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are
laughing with you.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
Pablo
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Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
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12th Jun 03 at 10:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

LMAO

Some statements are soooo true!
pringle
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Registered: 4th Mar 03
Location: planet oz(somewhere with women)
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12th Jun 03 at 10:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

fukc that sound like ma weekend just passed, ended up climbinmg a lamp post. and didnt get home till half 6 the next morning. but nights like thea are gid
Patrick
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Location: SE London
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12th Jun 03 at 11:02   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Shelly

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.




This is true.

Me and a mate were out clubbing about a year ago and got totally smashed! Was on the way home waiting for the bus, when there was a group of about 5 big black blokes, all with the big fat gold chains and bulging muscles.

I 'whispered' to me mate "Hold ya wallets" and started laughing.

They've all then walked up to us and said, "Hold ya wallets eh?, Hold ya wallets EH?"

I was like so turned round and said to me mate, "Look at plant, isn't it nice"

Luckily they all carried on walking, well bopping calling out "Hold ya wallets eh? Hold ya wallets EH?
Pablo
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12th Jun 03 at 11:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Patrick
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12th Jun 03 at 11:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can't remember).




This is true also.

Only last week I awoke to find Vibrio's Mum lying next to me. I don't know what was worse, the beard and the hairy legs or the infected anus caused by her Son's cheesy willy!
Daimo B
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12th Jun 03 at 11:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Soooo true this
Andy Stocker
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12th Jun 03 at 11:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

& there was me thinking this was gonna be something serious
Shelly
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12th Jun 03 at 11:23   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

You saying I am boring Andrew?
jay@ffwd
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Location: Worcester
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12th Jun 03 at 11:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Shelly who is the nurse in ya garage??
Patrick
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12th Jun 03 at 11:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

You missed one...

Warning: consumption of alcohol may give you an urge to physically attack an unsuspecting innocent tree.

Andy Stocker
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12th Jun 03 at 11:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
You saying I am boring Andrew?


No Michelle, I was merely worrying for my health due to the amount of alcohol I generally consume. Now I no longer need to be worried as the above statements were nothing to worry about
Shelly
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12th Jun 03 at 11:44   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by jay@ffwd
Shelly who is the nurse in ya garage??


My sister, why?
Pablo
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12th Jun 03 at 11:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
quote:
Originally posted by jay@ffwd
Shelly who is the nurse in ya garage??


My sister, why?


She is very nice!!

[Edited on 12-06-2003 by B4RVO]
Shelly
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12th Jun 03 at 11:50   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

So I get told.
Pablo
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12th Jun 03 at 11:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Im sure she does too.
Shelly
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12th Jun 03 at 11:52   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Most probably
Pablo
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12th Jun 03 at 11:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

You look kinda similar!
andrewR
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12th Jun 03 at 11:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

most likely
Shelly
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12th Jun 03 at 11:55   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I hope so, she is my sister.
andrewR
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12th Jun 03 at 11:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

yeah 4 sure!
Shelly
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12th Jun 03 at 12:01   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

What you mean?
Andy Stocker
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12th Jun 03 at 12:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I think we should have a 3some
Shelly
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12th Jun 03 at 12:23   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Who is we
Andy Stocker
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12th Jun 03 at 19:26   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

You, your sister & myself

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