mike56gte
Member
Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by alan-g-w
Is this a facepalm within a facepalm here?
???
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alan-g-w
Member
Registered: 9th Nov 07
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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I'm pretty sure that Scotty B was taking the piss out of ashleh taking the piss.
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mike56gte
What's black and has 27 tits??
The rubbish bag outside the cancer clinic
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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What have rapists and little boy racers got in common?
Joyriding.
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I've always found TV program titles to be misleading.
Scrubs isn't about poor people, The King of Queens isn't about a queer, and Two and a Half Men isn't about two white guys and a nigger...
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What's more fun than watching an old lady fall down a flight of stairs?
Pushing her.
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I walked into a pub and said to the barman, "Stella please mate".
He said, "Are you 18?"
I said, "No."
He said, "I can't serve you then."
As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the 4th pub, what does a 22 year old have to do to get a pint round here?"
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I got an erection whilst I was on the bus today.
So I casually put my hand in my pocket and pulled my cock to the side so nobody would notice, then I got off the bus.
I just stood at the bus stop for about 20 minutes waiting for my cock to go soft.
People on the bus must have been thinking, "What the fuck is this driver up to?"
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You look like I need another drink...
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e only thing more disgusting than '2 Girls 1 Cup', is the fact that it gave me an erection.
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My girlfriend died because of her beliefs.
She believed she could say no to anal sex.
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My wife said we would have to make some sacrifices now that the baby is born.
I took her advice and put it up for adoption.
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http://www.sickipedia.org/
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Tomnova16
Premium Member
Registered: 21st Jan 06
Location: Gerrards Cross Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
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What's jade goody doing this Christmas.
Baby sitting for Lily Allen
http://www.lemass.co.uk/ for all your automotive/bodyshop needs
Located in Chalfont st Peter
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mike56gte
Member
Registered: 23rd Jun 09
Location: Fife, scotland Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
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^^^^
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MarkSport
Member
Registered: 22nd May 09
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by deano87
I walked into a pub and said to the barman, "Stella please mate".
He said, "Are you 18?"
I said, "No."
He said, "I can't serve you then."
As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the 4th pub, what does a 22 year old have to do to get a pint round here?"
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Bissmire
Member
Registered: 30th Sep 08
User status: Offline
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The parents of Madeleine McCann have announced their future release of a book,
its comes under the self help banner with the title "How to loose 31lbs".
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Twitch
Member
Registered: 3rd Nov 09
Location: Flitwick, Bedfordshire
User status: Offline
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this one made me chuckle.
I hate having Tourette's. It makes you shout out things you don't want to shout out.
For example, yesterday I was walking along the road when I spotted a Pakistani guy walking on the other side of the road and I shouted out "Good morning sir, I hope you are well
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tomnova16
What's jade goody doing this Christmas.
Baby sitting for Lily Allen
Ooofftt
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Cavey
Member
Registered: 11th Nov 02
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
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Apparently Audley Harrison is lining up Harvey price for his next fight.
The poor fat mongo blind useless black fucker won't stand a chance against Harvey
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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I'm getting so bored of the Royal wedding dominating the news. I'm almost considering releasing Madeleine just to shut the fuckers up.
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Stephen Hawking was admitted to hospital last night with a sprained wrist, fractured collar bone and broken leg... Apparently his date last night stood him up!
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Twiggy
Member
Registered: 15th Oct 04
User status: Offline
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Tom & Jeff,2 gays,spent all weekend in bed having sex.On Sunday Tom says, "I'm goin 2 the shop,don't u b wanking while I'm away."When he came back,there was cum all over the walls and the ceiling.Tom says,"I told u not 2 wank while I was away." Jeff said "I didn't, I farted!"
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MarkSport
Member
Registered: 22nd May 09
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Bonney
Stephen Hawking was admitted to hospital last night with a sprained wrist, fractured collar bone and broken leg... Apparently his date last night stood him up!
Oooft
quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
I'm getting so bored of the Royal wedding dominating the news. I'm almost considering releasing Madeleine just to shut the fuckers up.
F
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Twiggy
Tom & Jeff,2 gays,spent all weekend in bed having sex.On Sunday Tom says, "I'm goin 2 the shop,don't u b wanking while I'm away."When he came back,there was cum all over the walls and the ceiling.Tom says,"I told u not 2 wank while I was away." Jeff said "I didn't, I farted!"
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ashleh
Member
Registered: 23rd Dec 08
Location: Nottingham
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by alan-g-w
I'm pretty sure that Scotty B was taking the piss out of ashleh taking the piss.
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Tomnova16
Premium Member
Registered: 21st Jan 06
Location: Gerrards Cross Drives: Porsche 911
User status: Offline
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Black woman went for an abortion 2 weeks later she received a cheque for 300 pound
she rang the hospital to ask who it was from. Hospital said crimestoppers
http://www.lemass.co.uk/ for all your automotive/bodyshop needs
Located in Chalfont st Peter
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MarkSport
Member
Registered: 22nd May 09
User status: Offline
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My great grandmother has gotten to the stage where i have to crush up her pills as she cant eat them, i dont like doing it, knowing it degrades her but i just couldnt forgive myself if i got her pregnant!!
I think i messed up my blind date last night! During the meal she asked me, "whats your pet hate?" i said, "Well it doesn't like my cock up its arse!"
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Robo C20Let
Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 10
Location: Somewhere inside your mom !!!
User status: Offline
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2 men and 1 women stranded on a island. no hope of resuce and no way off.
well as time passes they start doing what feels natural and have sex.
a few months pass and one day the woman wakes up and goes i cant take this anymore and commits suicide.
the 2 men wake to find her dead....
time passes and the 2 men start to do what feels natural and have sex.....
a few more weeks pass and the 2 men one day turn to each other and admit what they are doing isnt right........... and agree to bury her
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ChrisBoom
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 06
Location: Highland
User status: Offline
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I don't know why David Cameron is so set on raising student fees; the last thing he tried to raise died at age six.
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Rich H
Member
Registered: 26th Oct 05
Location: West Sussex Drives: E46 M3
User status: Offline
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Let's see how long it takes for one of you sick bastards to post a joke about Joanna Yeates then
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Root
Member
Registered: 28th Dec 08
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Rich H
Let's see how long it takes for one of you sick bastards to post a joke about Joanna Yeates then
Christ, it was terrible seeing Joanna Yeates's parents break down on that TV appeal.
On the upside, it looks like there's a free pizza out there for someone with an eagle eye.
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BarnshaW
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 06
User status: Offline
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