Jakey
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
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Al Quaeda have apparently hidden bombs in tins of Alphabet Spaghetti.
If they go off, they could spell disaster.
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nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
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8/10 Jakey
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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i dont get it
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_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by IvIarkgraham
I dont get it
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Jakey
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by IvIarkgraham
i dont get it
This isn't the knock knock pussy joke.
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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Just been told this in work -
A cat is sat on a riverbank and an 6" sausage floats by. The cat dips it's paw in to try and get it but it floats off
A while later an 8" sausage floats along. The cat dips it's whole leg in but the sausage floats along
Next a 12" sausage comes floating along. This time the cat dives into the water and gets the sausage
The moral of the story - The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy
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IvIarkgraham
Premium Member
Registered: 27th Mar 04
Location: Ellesmere Port, Cheshire
User status: Offline
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2 jokes and i dont get either of them
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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i thought that was very good.. just sent it roung the office and all i could hear was pained groans 
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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Same, I just posted it on another forum and got 'boooooed' literally
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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A couple is going out for a night on the town. They're all dolled up, ready to go; the lights left on, the dog put out.
But just as the taxi arrives and they step out of the house, the dog darts back inside and won't come out.
They don't want to leave the dog inside, so the husband goes upstairs to find it, while the wife goes to wait in the taxi.
Not wanting it known that the house will be empty, she explains to the driver that her husband had just gone 'to say good-bye to my mother'.
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' he says. 'Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat-hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the backyard! She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!'.
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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Harry potter stories are a bit far fetched. I can accept the fact that magic exists and that there may even be unicorns and wizards....but a ginger kid with 2 mates...? FUCK OFF!
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andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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A chicken farmer went to a local bar... sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
"What a coincidence," the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman.
"What a coincidence" says the man. As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynaecologist told me that I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man ... "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying
fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I used a different clam," he replied.
The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence"
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Half Pint
Member
Registered: 25th Mar 02
User status: Offline
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jack and jill went up the hill, so jack could lick jill's fanny;
Jack got a shock,
A mouth full of cock,
cos jill was a pre op tranny
ta da....
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by IvIarkgraham
i dont get it
I'm not surprised, you can't even spell your own name without a v.
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Russ
Member
Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Half Pint
jack and jill went up the hill, so jack could lick jill's fanny;
Jack got a shock,
A mouth full of cock,
cos jill was a pre op tranny
ta da....
surely if she was pre op then she wouldnt have had the operation yet
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Russ
quote:
Originally posted by Half Pint
jack and jill went up the hill, so jack could lick jill's fanny;
Jack got a shock,
A mouth full of cock,
cos jill was a pre op tranny
ta da....
surely if she was pre op then she wouldnt have had the operation yet
Hence Jack getting a shock and a mouth full of cock!
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Jakey
Premium Member
Registered: 4th Jun 07
Location: Sandbach
User status: Offline
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But if shes called JILL and is PRE OP she'll have a FANNY.
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_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
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God damn Russ, join the back of the room with IvIark 
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Russ
Member
Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
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why i'm correct
[Edited on 13-11-2008 by Russ]
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_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
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God damn Jakey, join the back of the room with Russ and IvIark
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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actually Russ and Jakey are right.
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Russ
Member
Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
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if SHE is called JILL, and she is PRE OP, SHE hasnt had the OPERATION TO STCICK A COCK ON YET.
i used to respect you underscore, now i just dont know how to feel
[Edited on 13-11-2008 by Russ]
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_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
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Allan is a tranny, he goes by the name of Jill and dresses like a girl.
Russ takes him up the hill thinking he's getting a bit of clam.
Gets a shock because Allan is a pre op, hence pre operation and has a tiny penis still.
Only right if you assume Jill is a girl in the first place.
By the way I only like flowers and chocolate, no grapes please. See you next Friday. I will now be known as _Alice_
xxxxx
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Russ
Member
Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
User status: Offline
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so we are both correct.
ps. sorry to hear about the tiny penis
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