XSIHardy
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Registered: 5th Feb 08
User status: Offline
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Of my grandad and grandmar.
Have not spoke to them since i was at school so around 4 years now.
the main reason we did not speak was because of a massive argument with my mum, and when i was younger my mum would never let me around to there house because my grand dad was a alcoholic.
Any way this letter was asking me to meet up with them as i am soon 18 nd they set up some saving account.
But im still unsure if they will just use the money to get at me and then get to my mum ( she is a rather cunning woman) or is she genuinly dose wont to see me.
btw my mum was addopted by my grandad and grandmar there not biological.
[Edited on 01-07-2008 by XSIHardy]
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RichR
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Oct 01
Location: Waterhouses, Staffordshire
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Speak to your mum but under NO cicumstances accept the money.
I wouldn't do it behind your mum's back, You could end up causing an even bigger rift.
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RichR
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Oct 01
Location: Waterhouses, Staffordshire
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so I can't tick any of the boxes
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deano87
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Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
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Go see them. But tell your mum also. Explain that you're 18 nearly and this is the only reason you're going to see them and that they approached you.
Meet somewhere neutral so they can speak to you or something also, might make them less inclined to be bastards about it and say horrible things about your mum.
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Phi
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Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
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Id except the money 
you will be 18 so as an adult you can choose wether or not to see them, its up to you end of the day! you need to tell your mum they have made contact though and the reason why, you will be going over to see them. stand up for yourself!
[Edited on 01-07-2008 by Corsa_phi]
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Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
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at the end of the day its your life so do what you want.
but id show the letter to you mum and ask her what she thinks.
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XSIHardy
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Registered: 5th Feb 08
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mums seen the letter and she said i can go if i like. but she didnt seem all tht happy about it. i wouldnt mind finding out why there is such a big gap because mum would never tell me why they fell out. Having said that some money would be rather nice and half a hour to a hour of shit for couple houndred seems worth it, but a little cold harted
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johnhara1
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Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
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Tell your mum, she'll tell you its your decision if you want to go and see them.
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Hammer
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Registered: 11th Feb 04
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Sounds as if your being used as a pawn, give the letter to your mum and do what she wants you to imo.
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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there is no poll answer for my opinion.
they are out of order expecting they can bribe their way back into your life. tell your mother about them making contact. dont tell her about the money thing though as she'll be pissed off.
then go see the grandparents and tell them that if they want to see you then fine but dont use you as a weapon in their silly game.
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Cosmo
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Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
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If I were you I'd find out off your mum the real reason they dont get on if you dont know it already, as must be something really serious for it to go on this long.
That will allow you to make a decent decision.
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deano87
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Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
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quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
there is no poll answer for my opinion.
they are out of order expecting they can bribe their way back into your life. tell your mother about them making contact. dont tell her about the money thing though as she'll be pissed off.
then go see the grandparents and tell them that if they want to see you then fine but dont use you as a weapon in their silly game.
But, I don't see the money as a bribe tbh. He is turning 18 and that's about it. And lets face it, he wasn't of no age to make the decision to not see them.
The rift is between his mum and grandparents, not himself and grandparents.
That's just my outlook on it anyway.
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Phi
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Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
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Just go and see them , talk to them etc, you might even start seeing them again? but you need to keep your mum uptodate rather than go behind her back... so what' if you accept money, dont go with the atitude of 'i just want monies'!, just go see them and talk to them, if they are being nasty then say you dont want the money and dont wish to see them again...
but if you want to see them then go!
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XSIHardy
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Registered: 5th Feb 08
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quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
Sounds as if your being used as a pawn,
Thats what my mum is worryed about.
Me and my mum are rather strong though and she does get up set rather easy buy people not being loyal to her.
Think best idea will be to ask my real nan and grandad they allways give me possitive advice 
Just though id ask on here as some people may have gone into possible same situations.
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MatthewR
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Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
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id take the money! Werent your fault was it
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Brett
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
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Don't go behind your mums back.
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
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If their not related biologicly then fuck them off, at he end of the day their just a bunch of spooky old bastards & your maw doesnt want you to see them........probably because gramp's has wandering hands & touched you when you were younger or something.
Bin the letter - earn your own money 
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by deano87
quote:
Originally posted by C2RL R
there is no poll answer for my opinion.
they are out of order expecting they can bribe their way back into your life. tell your mother about them making contact. dont tell her about the money thing though as she'll be pissed off.
then go see the grandparents and tell them that if they want to see you then fine but dont use you as a weapon in their silly game.
But, I don't see the money as a bribe tbh. He is turning 18 and that's about it. And lets face it, he wasn't of no age to make the decision to not see them.
The rift is between his mum and grandparents, not himself and grandparents.
That's just my outlook on it anyway.
i'm speaking as a victim of fuckwit grandparents tho so i suppose i'm a little one sided.
the way i see it though is they shouldn't have even mentioned the money thing to him. if they were genuine about it then they should keep that as a suprise for him.
his mum is right to keep him away as his grandad had a drink problem. i agree that its their argument not his.
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XSIHardy
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Registered: 5th Feb 08
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Iv also got a little sister as well so surpose should realy think about her. as i dont think my mum wonts her goin any were near them.
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Phi
Member
Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
User status: Offline
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Be glad you have grandparents alive
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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i have 1 alive. not seen her since my grandads funeral 9 years ago and didnt see either of them for 10 years before that.
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin
If their not related biologicly then fuck them off, at he end of the day their just a bunch of spooky old bastards & your maw doesnt want you to see them........probably because gramp's has wandering hands & touched you when you were younger or something.
Bin the letter - earn your own money
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AndyKent
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Registered: 3rd Sep 05
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Don't think they're using you as a pawn, but you'll only really find that out when you meet them.
Its funny, but looking back at my childhood my mum made some odd decisions because she was mad after my dad left.
You are your own person so do what you think best. I'd go and see them even if money had nothing to do with it. Perhaps they've just realised they've missed out on seeing you grow up?
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mattfiesta
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Registered: 14th Jul 05
Location: Nottinghamshire
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Eck
quote:
Originally posted by Colin
If their not related biologicly then fuck them off, at he end of the day their just a bunch of spooky old bastards & your maw doesnt want you to see them........probably because gramp's has wandering hands & touched you when you were younger or something.
Bin the letter - earn your own money
i was unsure wether or not to laugh but since you have
[Edited on 01-07-2008 by mattfiesta]
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Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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take the money and fuck the OAPs off
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