Fonz
Premium Member
Registered: 12th May 06
Location: Newbury, Berks
User status: Offline
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Excerpts from a Dog's Blog
* 8 0 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
* 120 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
* 10 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
* 30 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
* 50 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
* 70 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
* 80 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
* 110 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Blog
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now..
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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funny evil little cats 
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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--DAN--
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Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Bottesford. Drives;3 Series
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dannymccann
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Registered: 9th Aug 06
Location: Doddington, Lincolnshire
User status: Offline
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Cat blog is brilliant
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corsa - gus
Member
Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
User status: Offline
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i prefer dogs 
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Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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Thats so old yet Im still in tears
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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Cats should be classified as vermin imo. Disease spreading clatty things.
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Skylined
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
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I think you'll find that cats are naturally clean animals....hence they attempt to bury their faeces rather than just dump it on the floor like a dog.
Heard that before but yea it is a classic, so typical of a cats personality
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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They smell of piss though?
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Skylined
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 05
Location: Sideways, Surrey
User status: Offline
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they must just pick that up from the smell of your house/surrounding area
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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I don't have any cats in my house mate they smell of piss. If a cat walked into my garden i'd stick it in a bin bag and throw it in the canal.
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nova_gteuk
Member
Registered: 15th May 02
Location: South Wales Drives: The Bandwagon
User status: Offline
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Cats are cleaner than dogs, i have 4 cats 
And you'd probably find dogs smell cats dont.
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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GTE is your mum the cat lady?
[Edited on 22-05-2008 by Tom]
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nova_gteuk
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Registered: 15th May 02
Location: South Wales Drives: The Bandwagon
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tom
GTE is your mum the cat lady?
[Edited on 22-05-2008 by Tom]
I wouldnt know havent spoken to her in over 10 years
My dads a cat man i guess 
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Kurt
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Registered: 23rd Oct 05
Location: Hi
User status: Offline
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Our
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Hammer
Member
Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline
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Sick.
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