Steve X16XE
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Registered: 31st Dec 06
Location: Barnsley, South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Monstaaaa wants to know everything about them. Please post everything you know and send him loads of u2u's.
Thank you 
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Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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WTF 
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Twiggy
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Registered: 15th Oct 04
User status: Offline
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they taste nice 
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Sunz
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: SE England
User status: Offline
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There juicy
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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they are rank
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deano87
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Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
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To see if it's ripe, pull one of the green leaves from the centre. If it pulls out without force needed, it's ripe 
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Neo
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Registered: 20th Feb 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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Pineapples
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Pineapples.
Pineapples are the small, red, frankly irritating fruit that grow underwater. They are believed to be the main food source of pirates. The pineapple is also the currency of Bolivia and of Tropico. Pineapple is also one of the two main ingredients in Hawaiians.
Yep, even Wikipedia is a pineapple!
The plans for basic pineapple, known also as Spongebob`s house, design were born during a conversation between God and Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise (F.A.G) was going on and on about scientology and God's mind wandered off to fruit design. Influenced by the insane preachings of the prophet of scientology the best of all fruits was born. Next came the pineapple.
It is believed that the pineapple was the first weapon of mass destruction used by pirates. About 500 years ago, pirates would go out to sea with a great big pile of pineapples, which they used for pineapple fights with their enemies. Fights like this would last for days and resulted with all pirates being covered head to toe in the fruit.
Pineapple fights were what cannons were originally used for, before the invention of the cannonball.
Four men are in a contest. The winner of the contest gets one billion 999 million 999 hundredthousand and 1 dollars and 50cents. To win this great prize they have to undergo a great challenge, but if they fail, they will be instantly killed. They are given fruits and they have to stuff them up their buts without making any noise or showing a facial expresion. The first man gets three apples. He puts the first to in, then makes a face and is killed. The second guy has two bananas and two avacodos. He squeels in pain and dies. The third guy has pitless cherries with no stems. he puts eight out of nine in when he starts cracking up with laughter and is killed. When he goes to heaven, an angel says "why'd you give up, you almost won?". The man replies "I started laughing because the next guy, the last contestant, had ten pineapples. That last contestant is rummored to be none other than Doub-O. You will never look at a pineapple with a straight face again.
Pino-Bananian War
Many hundreds of years ago, Pineapples were a sentient race of beings. They were hunted to near extinction on the planet earth, after years of oppression the most intelligent of the pineapples banded together and formulated a plan to flee earth to space. After a 20 years struggle, they managed to create the great pine-ship and soon escaped earths gravitational pull and the near extinction of their race. The Pineapples rose to become a great galactic Imperium; However they soon met another space fairing Species who announced them self as the Banana Republic.
After a long and bloody war between the Pineapple Imperium and the Banana Republic the Pineapples were Victorious. After the cessation of hostilities the Pineapple Species banished the banana to the planet earth where they are bred and hunted in captivity by Humanity.
The now powerful space fairing Pineapple race liberated the remaining pineapples from humanity, leaving a genetically defective sub-race of pineapple in their stead to take the place of their oppressed brethren.
Discovery of the pineapple
During Robinson Crusoe's island ordeal off the coast of Canada, he discovered a pineapple in possession of one of the island natives he brutally murdered. After he managed to make sense of the ticket machines operation procedures he got a ticket back to the USA and he smuggled the pineapple back into his home country. He got a parade in the streets of New York together with Lance Armstrong who just returned from his lunar mission in 1969.
Taste
The Pineapple has one of the most unique tastes of all fruits. When you eat it fresh off the tree it tastes bloody and prickly, but when you take off the hard skin it tastes sweetish like all other fruits. And don't even think of trying it on pizzas; pizzas are not made for fruits.
Rumors
* It has been determined that pineapples, despite popular belief, do NOT grow on trees. They grow underwater in the snow, and we know who lives in one under the sea. They need to be mined using a pistol as shown below:
* According to professional theorists the unique creation curcumstances of the pineapple have giving it the ability to predict the flow of time and space. This theory is further proven by the fact that Nostradamus is shown gazing into a pineapple on one of Leonardo Da Vinci's earliest paitings.
* In addition to predicting the flow of time and space, pineapples have also been used to control both. It is this property that lead to the use of pineapples insead of a dilithium crystals in the warp core of star ships in the Evil Galactic Empire. This research was later made use of in the first episode of a new season of a certain popular sci-fi tv show (name withheld due to copyright issues) in an episode that was considered so horrible, it was later baned from airing everywhere and resulted in the discontinuation and subsiquent destruction of all copies of the proposed plot pilot.
* There have also been reports of a "Giant Pineapple" stalking the streets of Bejing at night. Locals call this ferocious beats "El Pinoapplo". Scientist Believe it may be a mutant caused by the constant solar radiation all earth organisms are exposed to. There has been no proof for the existence of such a pineapple save for a few photographs. The child emperor of china has dispachted his best ninja's to get to the bottom of this. (Update November 2005: Only one ninja has returned alive, but has been unable to speak of his ordeal.)
* Some say that a gay rights group known as Al-Quaida are planning to make "Pineapple" a full blown swear word. Their latest plan is to create a parody of Finding Nemo which is X rated for extreme coarse language. Most Adjectives have been replaced with the word "Pineappling"
* Pineapples have also been known to grow under the sea.They are homed to some of the most rarest squarest seasponge.
* George Michael loves pineapples.
* Vader also loves pineapples.
* Pineapples also like tacos. Nobody knows why.
* Bruce Lee was Reincarnated from a pineapple.
* Pineapples contain; 36.5% Pine tree, 52.5% Apples, but also has 11% Michael Jackson's Nose.
* When Mining Pineapples, it is best to use a flamethrower , or Molotov Cocktail
* A variety of pineapples are space fairing.
Trivial Trivia about the Pineapple
"SCHEMA!"
* After being hollowed out, the discarded pineapple husk is a common dwelling for the sentient variety of steel wool, particularly when under water.
* Pineapples are often used as a contraceptive. The fruit is inserted deep into the vagina of the woman prior to sex. When the male ejaculates inside her the sperm feast upon the fruit, becoming too fat and lethargic to reach the egg. N.B. If the man tries to do the insertion he will invariably get the end wrong and there will be hell to pay and she will not ask him to have sex with her again.
Later discovered, the pineapple was found to have very dolphin-like qualitites. It is said that it can communicate to other pineapples with a type of echolocation, or as some call it, Joe. In some cases, some scientists have even found large yellow and purple snorkels inside, another dolphin like quality. For those who have tasted pineapple, you will know what certain aquatic mammal it reminds you of my pants.
* When threatened, wild South American pineapples are known to scream "SCHEMA!" to warn fellow pineapples. It has been suggested, by some researchers that pineapples can't actually talk.
pineapple inc.
pineapple is also the name of the company, which is the sadistict version of apple inc. the are also likely to produce pinepods, not painpods!!! those are ipod's with instead of a apple logo , a pineapple logo.
* Qwertyuiopee is not a Pineapple.
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C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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spongebob lives in one
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Superlite Ltd.
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Registered: 9th Jan 07
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They grow on the floor, not on trees
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morpheus22
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Registered: 10th Oct 05
Location: sheffield
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they feel like they are cutting your tongue when you eat them
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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No matter how many people might try and defend it, putting them on a pizza is just WRONG 
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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same as above but with chinese food
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