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Author Joke time
All Torque
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Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
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25th Jan 08 at 12:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

What does a ginger miss most about parties?






















The invitation.
All Torque
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Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
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25th Jan 08 at 12:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Paddy says to Mick "Mick, I hear that the girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond film has split her fanny open!"

Mick says "Honor Blackman?"

"No" says Paddy "On a dildo"
All Torque
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Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
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25th Jan 08 at 12:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

Well, he said, 'It's what mummy calls me sometimes'.

The little girl screams to her brother

'Don't eat it, it's an asshole'....
Matt L
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Registered: 17th Apr 06
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25th Jan 08 at 12:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

iv heard better.

edit: lol @ the 3rd

[Edited on 25-01-2008 by Matt L]
C2RL R
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Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
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25th Jan 08 at 12:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

fucking quality that pete!

edit: the first one i mean

edit 2:actually i meant the 2nd one

[Edited on 25-01-2008 by C2RL R]

[Edited on 25-01-2008 by C2RL R]
Joe
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Registered: 20th Jun 04
Location: Hesketh Bank, Lancashire
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25th Jan 08 at 12:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

1st one is a good one.
Whittie
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Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
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25th Jan 08 at 12:43   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

1st one
Bram
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Registered: 25th Mar 02
Location: Derby
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25th Jan 08 at 13:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Why is it dangerous to wear Russian boxershorts!??















cos cher-nobyl fallout!
willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
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Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
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25th Jan 08 at 13:39   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

bram you deserve a lolll
LeeM
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Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
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25th Jan 08 at 14:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?











































the wheelchair

[Edited on 25-01-2008 by lee_wee]
Mather.16v
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Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Stockport
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25th Jan 08 at 14:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by All Torque
What does a ginger miss most about parties?



The invitation.






DYL
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Registered: 19th May 06
Location: CAERNARFON
User status: Offline
25th Jan 08 at 14:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by lee_wee
whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?











































the wheelchair

[Edited on 25-01-2008 by lee_wee]


explain
Nath
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
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25th Jan 08 at 14:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Vegetable.......... Wheelchair.............. Got it yet?..................
DYL
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Registered: 19th May 06
Location: CAERNARFON
User status: Offline
25th Jan 08 at 16:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Nath
Vegetable.......... Wheelchair.............. Got it yet?..................


nope
All Torque
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Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
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25th Jan 08 at 16:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

cripples are known as vegetables. simple.
AdZ9
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Registered: 14th Apr 06
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25th Jan 08 at 16:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

i had trouble laughing at that one too... then i remembered most people think that everyone in a wheelchair is a vegetable, how could i forget.
Robin
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Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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25th Jan 08 at 16:49   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Banned.
DYL
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Registered: 19th May 06
Location: CAERNARFON
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25th Jan 08 at 16:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

i just dont find it funny when people make jokes about people in wheelchairs etc.....sorry if im being boring
AdZ9
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Registered: 14th Apr 06
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25th Jan 08 at 16:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Neither do i i don't get to wound up though as my uncle is disabled but has probablly achieved more than most of the forum. Representing our country in the paralympics etc, he played for the UK wheelchair basketball team, then retired and coached the womens team. Now to me, if thats a 'vegetable' then what the hell are us 'normal' people

I just get annoyed when people think they are 'vegetables'

*edit* but anyway back to the jokes, its a friday afternoon i want to be made to laugh!

[Edited on 25-01-2008 by AdZ9]
LeeM
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Registered: 26th Sep 05
Location: Liverpool
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25th Jan 08 at 20:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

jesus it was a joke! my nan used to be in a wheelchair so its not like i asume everyone in a wheelchair is brain dead or anythin
CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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26th Jan 08 at 08:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

You've got it wrong. He's not saying everyone in a wheelchair is a vegetable, he's saying anyone in a vegetative state would be wheelchair bound.

Which isn't strictly true, as they're usually constrained to a hospital bed.

If the joke was "What's the hardest thing about Steven Hawking to eat?

His wheelchair."

That would make more sense.
charlessurr
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Registered: 15th May 05
Location: Sheffield
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26th Jan 08 at 12:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

What did the queen mother and princess diana have in common?

They both died at 101

----------------------------------------

Whats yellow and lives off dead beatles?

Yoko Ono

------------------------------------------

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, youve told her twice

----------------------------------------------------

Whats the difference between football and rape?

Women dont like football

-------------------------------------------------

And if i havnt already been banned..........

Whats red and smells of holly?

Ian Huntleys cock


P.S only jokes!!!!!!!
mattk
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Registered: 27th Feb 06
Location: St. Helens
User status: Offline
26th Jan 08 at 13:30   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

little_duke
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Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
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26th Jan 08 at 13:36   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

heard the 3rd 1,1st was funny.2nd abit normal
charlessurr
Member

Registered: 15th May 05
Location: Sheffield
User status: Offline
26th Jan 08 at 16:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Whats got 8 legs and a black c*nt?


The A team

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