BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.
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Haimsey
Premium Member
Registered: 8th May 05
Location: Nottingham Drives: Corsa B
User status: Offline
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You really, really need to become preem 
Marcy Marc 
White Sport Progress Thread
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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I think its just because you're ugly.
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Haimsey
You really, really need to become preem
preem? do explain...
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Deano_sxi
Banned
Registered: 10th Apr 05
User status: Offline
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that was proper shit
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Deano_sxi
that was proper shit
Well thats your fault for reading it. I thought it was pretty funny/clever.
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by corsa_modder
quote:
Originally posted by Deano_sxi
that was proper shit
Well thats your fault for reading it.
So if he hadnt of read it, would it still of been shit for the rest of us?
[Edited on 06-12-2007 by Cosmo]
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Haimsey
Premium Member
Registered: 8th May 05
Location: Nottingham Drives: Corsa B
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by corsa_modder
quote:
Originally posted by Haimsey
You really, really need to become preem
preem? do explain...
No explanation needed now, i guess it helps reading (or in this case not reading) before you reply 
Marcy Marc
White Sport Progress Thread
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Deano_sxi
Banned
Registered: 10th Apr 05
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by corsa_modder
quote:
Originally posted by Deano_sxi
that was proper shit
Well thats your fault for reading it. I thought it was pretty funny/clever.
yeah in 2001 when i first got the email n00b
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo
So if he hadnt of read it, would it still of been shit for the rest of us?
[Edited on 06-12-2007 by Cosmo]
If a tree falls and theres no1 round to hear it...
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Haimsey
Premium Member
Registered: 8th May 05
Location: Nottingham Drives: Corsa B
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by corsa_modder
quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo
So if he hadnt of read it, would it still of been shit for the rest of us?
[Edited on 06-12-2007 by Cosmo]
If a tree falls and theres no1 round to hear it...
Whos going to rescue the squirrels?
Marcy Marc
White Sport Progress Thread
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by corsa_modder
quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo
So if he hadnt of read it, would it still of been shit for the rest of us?
[Edited on 06-12-2007 by Cosmo]
If a tree falls and theres no1 round to hear it...
how did you know it fell 
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Deano_sxi
Banned
Registered: 10th Apr 05
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo
quote:
Originally posted by corsa_modder
quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo
So if he hadnt of read it, would it still of been shit for the rest of us?
[Edited on 06-12-2007 by Cosmo]
If a tree falls and theres no1 round to hear it...
how did you know it fell
i got an email
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BluKoo
Member
Registered: 8th Apr 02
Location: Stonehaven (Scotland)
User status: Offline
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from the squirrels?
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Online
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wasnt this posted a week ago?
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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yup
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AdZ9
Member
Registered: 14th Apr 06
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SetH
wasnt this posted a week ago?
Yeh 
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C2RL R
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 02
Location: Redcliffe, QLD
User status: Offline
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it went down allot better last week too
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Toby
Premium Member
Registered: 29th Nov 05
User status: Offline
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funny could have done with a summary as my eyes are hurting
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Ben G
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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i'll say it, REPOST but yeah could be that your knob is too small or you're not doing the right moves or something?
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antmashed
Member
Registered: 2nd Aug 06
Location: Hertford
User status: Offline
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so did this not actually happen and sum1s just copy and pasting it all the time?
that sucks last guy who poasted it i thought that was real shit shame
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Nick-S
Member
Registered: 3rd Mar 04
Location: Leigh. Drives: RS Megane 230 F1 Team R26
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SetH
wasnt this posted a week ago?
yes
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marklaruk
Member
Registered: 4th Sep 04
Location: Leeds
User status: Offline
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funny as fuck
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Jamie
Member
Registered: 1st Apr 02
Location: Aberdeen
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by AdZ9
quote:
Originally posted by SetH
wasnt this posted a week ago?
Yeh
Yep and i got shot down
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