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Author I'm sad.....
JadeM
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28th Sep 07 at 09:24   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

My grans in hospital, she's so frail and confused we've been told that she'll NEVER be well enough to go back home cos she lives alone. They've said she needs to go into a nursing home

We hear so many horror stories about Nursing Homes

She's 88, this may sound terrible but I wish she had just passed away in her sleep before it came to this
willay
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28th Sep 07 at 09:26   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

First off I'm sorry to hear about your nan.

But you'll never hear about the good stories about Nursing Homes, when my nan lost her marbles she went to one and it wasnt easy. You just go tto do your research and check all the homes you can until you get the right feeling about one.

[Edited on 28-09-2007 by willay]
JadeM
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28th Sep 07 at 09:27   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by willay
But you'll never hear about the good stories about Nursing Homes, when my nan lost her marbles she went to one and it wasnt easy. You just go tto do your research and check all the homes you can until you get the right feeling about one.


I suppose your right Willay, there probably are good ones as well. The only consolation atm is that she's confused so hopefully she won't realise whats going on cos it would break her heart
willay
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28th Sep 07 at 09:28   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

alzheimers?
Whittie
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28th Sep 07 at 09:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

My nan passed away 2 years ago, i miss her a hell of a lot, as she was the last living grand parent, go to her grave all the time.

Point in getting at is...

Make the most of the time you have with her, my nan went into a nursing home, but she was in good care, Make sure she goes to the right home, and not one that you hear stories about, you've got to remember that they're in good hands jade. Sorry to hear that though.
pow
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28th Sep 07 at 09:31   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Make the most of seeing her Jade, she'll appreciate it

Research a nursing home taa fook - been told that when you find the right one, you know when you walk in the door.

Look at it this way Jade, shes had a long (and hopefully enjoyable) life, now you make her later years more enjoyable
C2RL R
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28th Sep 07 at 09:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote



Really sorry to hear that.
deano87
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28th Sep 07 at 09:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Sorry to hear that Jade. I hope all is well as it could be.
JadeM
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28th Sep 07 at 09:40   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote



I can't stop thinking about her. We always said she'd never end up in a home, but its got to the stage where she's a danger to herself cos she's confused and keeps falling. Last year when she was ill they wanted her to go to a home, but we begged them to let her home so I suppose she's had an extra year with us

Me and my wee granny


willay
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28th Sep 07 at 09:42   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Jade,

As much as it seems wrong to be putting her in a home, it is the best option. Unless you have the resources to house her with you and give her the 24/7 specialist care and attention she'll require then she will be better in a good home.

When mine went to a home she was upset but its just a process you need to get through, i promise it will get better.
pow
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28th Sep 07 at 09:48   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Aww bless you and ur nan Jade!

Will has it right IMO
willay
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28th Sep 07 at 09:48   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I've been through it, all my gparents have passed away now. It also seems the whole wager empire depends on me having children
Kathryn W
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28th Sep 07 at 09:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

MY Grandad was in a really good nursing home.

My nan had to go in one for a couple of weeks to recover from something, i didnt get told what it was. She improved loads, got really well again and bubbly, but she wanted to go back home again.

She went rapidly downhill by then, doing awful things and then she sort of went demented.

I have only had good experience of nursing homes! If my nan hadn't of left then she'd have lived a lot longer, possibly be still alive today!
JadeM
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28th Sep 07 at 09:50   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Deep down we know its for the best, just not what we wanted her life to end like

We took her home last year, and had a rota going for care/meals ect, but as you say she now needs 24hour care. All we ask is for it to be somewhere where they're kind to her and look after her

[Edited on 28-09-2007 by JadeM]
willay
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28th Sep 07 at 09:52   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Jade the key is to look around and get a good feel for one, once you are happy then you need to regularly visit to make sure shes ok and things will be fine. I'm not going to lie to you darling it is hard work and doesnt have many easy moments but its worth it for your loved ones.
Hammer
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28th Sep 07 at 09:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I deal with just about every single nursing home in this country Jade, including all the ones around your area, give me a shout beforehand if you need opinions on what the place/staff are like if you want
JadeM
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28th Sep 07 at 09:54   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Willay the thing is we don't know how much say we have in where she goes, do we have any choice in this or do the powers that be decide?

My mum's meeting with the Social Care on Monday to find out what options we have.
Kathryn W
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28th Sep 07 at 09:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

IF you put her into a home wheree you pay then she can go where you feel is best to put her.

JadeM
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28th Sep 07 at 09:55   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I deal with just about every single nursing home in this country Jade, including all the ones around your area, give me a shout beforehand if you need opinions on what the place/staff are like if you want


Hammer your a star, just knowing that someone can at least give us a bit of advice is such a relief. I'll send you a u2u
Andrew
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28th Sep 07 at 09:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Same sort of situation going on with my nan at the minute. My mum cannot cope with her on her own. She'll be cooking tea so my nan will piss all over the floor. She'll need to pop to the shop whilst someone has 5 mins to watch me nan so me nan will take hours to come down stairs etc. It just gets worse! I'm just off to take her the doctors with my sister now.

Had the same problem with my nans sister. Her not having any children of her own meant that my mum had to look after her. But we didn't have enough space in the house for my nan and her sister. So she had to go into a nursing home Cannot fault the home really, they gave her medication and kept an eye on her and her health. She died after about 18 months of being in the home of a heart attack

I visited her a couple of times a week, just wish i had of gone more now None of our fucking family went in to see her. It's the same with my nan, no-one comes and visits apart from her son on a Sunday morning. My nan had 4 kids ffs
Andrew
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28th Sep 07 at 09:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Kathryn W
IF you put her into a home wheree you pay then she can go where you feel is best to put her.




Even the NHS ones here cost stupid amounts of money. Think it's something like £400 a week. They took my aunties pensions, one from her previous husband too and the rest is made up of some benefits or something.
Kathryn W
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28th Sep 07 at 10:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Whittie


Make the most of the time you have with her


I totally agree with this.

My nan and grandad both died within 4 weeks of each other. I hadn't seen either of them in weeks before they died. I seen my nan about a week before she died and my grandad about a month.

I totally regret not going to see them. I really would do anything to have them back and just to spend some quality time with them. But i can't.

One of the biggest mistakes I made was not going to visit them. But i was young, thought going out was more important.

I often cry over them

So makesure Jade you do spend loads of time with her, comfort her, make her feel good!!!
ed
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28th Sep 07 at 10:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

My gran lives in a nursing home. She absolutely loves it. She's a bit old and crazy, and so is everyone else there. She thinks that she runs the place and thinks that everyone else is nuts. It's quite a fun place to go
Kathryn W
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28th Sep 07 at 10:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Andrew
quote:
Originally posted by Kathryn W
IF you put her into a home wheree you pay then she can go where you feel is best to put her.




Even the NHS ones here cost stupid amounts of money. Think it's something like £400 a week. They took my aunties pensions, one from her previous husband too and the rest is made up of some benefits or something.


I don't know how much my grandad's one was, was a really good home though just up the road from the train station in Runcorn.

The one my nan went in was paid by social services as it was only to get her up and about again etc.

If she had wanted to go into that then that would have also cost a fortune.
JadeM
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28th Sep 07 at 12:14   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by ed
My gran lives in a nursing home. She absolutely loves it. She's a bit old and crazy and thinks that everyone else is nuts. It's quite a fun place to go



Sounds a bit like my gran, but this has all just happened to her in the space of 3 weeks !! Here's hoping she will end up somewhere where she's settled and happy too Ed even if they are all a bit loopy

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