VegasPhil
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
User status: Offline
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An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems....
"Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot".
So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.
"Incredible"he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here."
Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a
£10 pound note appears.
"This is amazing!"exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?"
"Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!"shrieks the patient.
The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and
another and another and another, etc.....
Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.
"Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter. Just out of interest,
how moch was in dare den?"
The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says "£1,990 exactly."
"Ah, dat'd be roit,'' says the Irishman
I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.."
Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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 yes
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Dione J
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 04
Location: West Midlands Drives: Leon Cupra Turbo
User status: Offline
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i like
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AdZ9
Member
Registered: 14th Apr 06
User status: Offline
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Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom and sees his dad giving his mum one, his dad just laughs, throws a pillow at him and shouts
"Get out!"
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's room, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran... Johnny just looks at him and says
"Not so fucking funny when it's your mum is it"
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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Dione J
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 04
Location: West Midlands Drives: Leon Cupra Turbo
User status: Offline
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Blokes see's an advert in the pet shop, talking centipede £5,000 - he buys it and takes it home in a small box and after about 30 minutes he opens the box & asks if it would like to go for a pint.......
The centipede doesn't answer, raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply, getting angry thinking he's been done he shouts the question at which the centipede sticks his head out his box and says...
"i heard you the first time, I was putting my fucking shoes on"
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Whittie
Member
Registered: 11th Aug 06
Location: North Wales Drives: BMW, Corsa & Fiat
User status: Offline
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There were two ladies.
Both happily married and both very attractive.
They were faithful to their husbands.
Every so often they have a ladies night where they both go out and have some drinks and go dancing, everything you would think of on a ladies night out. Hours went by and they decided it's time to head home.
They decided to walk home both knowing that they have drank way to much and a little walk would be fun. As they walk home, one of the ladies said that she has to go to the restroom. The second lady agrees but didn't know where the closest restroom was. They both saw a cemetery and thought that they could pop a squat right there.
The first lady bent over and peed but didn't have anything to wipe herself. So she used her underwear and tossed them to the side. The second lady peed by a bush, and not wanting to throw a good pair of underwear away, she lookd around for something. She saw a wreath with a ribbon and bereavement card on it and decided to use it. They continued home and went to bed.
The next day the husband of the two ladies met for a beer and said that they need to put and end to this girls' night out. The first husband said that his wife came home without any panties on. The second husband said that's nothing, my wife came home with a card wedged up her arse saying "We will miss you, ALL THE LADS FROM THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!"
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Tommy
Member
Registered: 24th Aug 00
Location: Essex, Colchester
User status: Offline
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Just wondering why does the two grand one have to be irish
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Nath
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tommy
Just wondering why does the two grand one have to be irish
racist
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johnhara1
Member
Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Tommy
Just wondering why does the two grand one have to be irish
kidding right 
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Bonney
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 04
Location: St Helens
User status: Offline
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Theres an english man, an irish man and a scottish man beign chased by the SAS, they all run into a warehouse and see 3 sacks on the floor, each of then climp into one. Minutes later the SAS burst in and see the three sacks
they go up to the first sack, kick it and the english man meows like a cat
they then move onto the second one, they kick that and the scottish man barks like a dog,
they then move onto the third sack, they kick that, and the irish man says "potatoes, potatoes, potatoes"
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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bahahah that made me laugh so much a little bit of pee came out.
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Welsh Dan
Member
Registered: 23rd Mar 00
User status: Offline
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Chelsea have brought out a new range of perfumes and aftershave. The range is called YouGo Boss
[Edited on 26-09-2007 by Welsh Dan]
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VegasPhil
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
User status: Offline
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Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
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