dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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A Northerner walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".
The Scouser said "You're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!"
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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Dee
Banned
Registered: 19th Sep 01
User status: Offline
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Boof boof boof.
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deano87
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 06
Location: Bedfordshire Drives: Ford Fiesta
User status: Offline
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LoudandProud
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 01
Location: Stanway, Essex
User status: Offline
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paul.mitchell1984
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 06
Location: Wakefield
User status: Offline
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lol
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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 I may be in the job centre later Ok recruitment consultants but still 
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topshot_2k
Banned
Registered: 1st Dec 03
Location: Northampton Drives: Pug GTi-6
User status: Offline
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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a cockney, a geordie and a liverpudlian are sat in a pub when out of nowhere Jesus walks in. the cockney asks if Jesus can help him with his ongoing pain in his arm, Jesus walks up to him and touches his arm. "thats amazing i'm cured" cries the cockney and runs out of the pub with glee.
the geordie plucks up the courage to ask Jesus to help him with his erectile dysfunction, Jesus walks over to the Geordie, grabs his package. "thats incredible, i'm cured" and runs home to his wife.
the scouser sits on his stool and Jesus notices that he has a walking stick with him so goes over to heal his back, as he approached the scouser shouted "fuck off! how else am i supposed to get my disability!?"
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Cosmo
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 01
Location: Im the real one!
User status: Offline
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andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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i stand by my joke
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All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
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:applause:
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