boyracer2002
Member
Registered: 10th Aug 02
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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>>The following questions and answers were collected from last year's
GCSE
>>exam results in Swindon, Wiltshire. They are genuine responses (from
16
>>year olds)!
>>
>>Geography
>>
>>Q: Name the four seasons.
>>A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>>
>>Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
>>A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutant
>>like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
>>
>>Q: How is dew formed?
>>A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
>>
>>Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
>>A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends
>>to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
>>Nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
>>
>>Sociology
>>
>>Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
>>A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
>>
>>Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
>>A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
>>
>>Q: What are steroids?
>>A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
>>
>>Biology
>>
>>Q: What happens to your body as you age?
>>A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
>>
>>Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
>>A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
>>
>>Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
>>A: Premature death.
>>
>>Q: What is artificial insemination?
>>A: When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
>>
>>Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
>>A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
>>
>>Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g.abdomen)
>>A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax
the
>>>bdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains
the
>>heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,
E,
>>I,O and U.
>>
>>Q: What is the Fibula?
>>A: A small lie.
>>
>>Q: What does "varicose" mean?
>>A: Nearby.
>>
>>Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
>>A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
>>
>>Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
>>A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
>>
>>Q: What is a seizure?
>>A: A Roman emperor.
>>
>>Q: What is a terminal illness?
>>A: When you are sick at the airport
>>
>>Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
>>A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
>>umbrellas.
>>
>>English
>>
>>Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its
>>meaning.
>>A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
>>
>>Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
>>A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
>>
>>Technology
>>
>>Q: What is a turbine?
>>A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Never argue with an idiot - those watching might not know the
difference!
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Ben G
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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>>Q: What is a turbine?
>>A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head
on me scoooootttaaayyy, with me tuuuurbbbbinnne
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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quote:
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its
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Schlumpfy
Member
Registered: 2nd Apr 07
Location: Stourbridge, West Midlands
User status: Offline
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quote:
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
>>A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends
>>to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
>>Nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
FLOL!
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
User status: Offline
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nova_gteuk
Member
Registered: 15th May 02
Location: South Wales Drives: The Bandwagon
User status: Offline
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>>Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
>>A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
you need a big cock to get a mortgage 
[Edited on 22-05-2007 by nova_gteuk]
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