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Author Todays Joke
VegasPhil
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Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
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13th Apr 07 at 10:14   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How to shower like a woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in
laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk
to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.

Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth. leg cloth
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your haironce with cucumber and sage shampoo
with43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again
to make sure its clean. Condition your hair with
grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your
face withcrushed apricot facial scrub for 10
mins until red. Wash entire rest of body with
ginger nut and jaffa cake bidy wash. Rinse conditioner
off hair. Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in
shower. Spray mould spots with tile cleaner. Get
out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head. If you see partner along the way,
cover any exposed areas.


How to shower like a man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the
bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake
willy at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at
your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size
of your willy and scratch your bum. get in the shower.
Wash your face and armpits. Blow your nose in
your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area. Wash bum leaving those
coarse hairs,stuck on the soap. Wash your
hair making a shampoo mohican. Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off. Fail to motice water on floor
because curtain was hanging out of the bath the
whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her
and the woo - woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.



Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
Robbo_Corsa
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Registered: 5th Jul 06
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13th Apr 07 at 10:17   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Tarrantino
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13th Apr 07 at 10:30   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
James
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Location: Surrey
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13th Apr 07 at 10:30   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Phil

repost
RyanSxi
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13th Apr 07 at 10:32   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Kellye
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Registered: 23rd Aug 06
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13th Apr 07 at 10:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
hahaha gud 1
pdwhelan
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Location: Wigan
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13th Apr 07 at 10:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
VegasPhil
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Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
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13th Apr 07 at 10:47   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
James

GTF x x x

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James
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13th Apr 07 at 11:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
James
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13th Apr 07 at 11:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Phil have you heard of a company called Watercraft World in Fareham?
AdZ9
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Registered: 14th Apr 06
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13th Apr 07 at 11:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
its so true its uncanny, although i only have my housemates to shake my willy at
willay
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Organiser: South East, National Events
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13th Apr 07 at 11:18   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
VegasPhil
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Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
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13th Apr 07 at 11:27   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by James
Phil have you heard of a company called Watercraft World in Fareham?


Where abouts is it?

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James
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13th Apr 07 at 11:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Units 2 / 3 The Apex Centre
Newgate Lane
Fareham
Hampshire
PO14 1TP

sxibeast
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13th Apr 07 at 11:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Quality!
VegasPhil
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Registered: 16th Jan 05
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13th Apr 07 at 12:04   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Yeh Newgate. That's easy Why?

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James
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13th Apr 07 at 12:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VegasPhil
Yeh Newgate. That's easy Why?


Looking to get a jetski soon-ish (next year ) and they are my nearest Yammaha dealer.
J B
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Registered: 3rd Jan 07
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13th Apr 07 at 12:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
So true
VegasPhil
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Registered: 16th Jan 05
Location: Fareham, Hants Drives: Octavia VRS
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13th Apr 07 at 12:06   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Ever been to Vauxhall in Fareham James?

Corsa 2.0 16v Vegas - Sold
James
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Location: Surrey
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13th Apr 07 at 12:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by VegasPhil
Ever been to Vauxhall in Fareham James?


Can't say I have, i've only ever been to Whiteley because my flatmate lives there.

 
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