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Author Why women shouldn't take guys shopping.....
AndyKent
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 05
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 14:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
May be old, may not be......don't care...

The following is allegedly the true content of a letter sent to by tescos head office to a customer in oxford;-




Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his
antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by
our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror,picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices
again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

dazbircher
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 05
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 14:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
repost
Tommy L
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 14:57   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
reeeeeepost but still makes me laugh
corsa_chelle
Member
Registered: 6th Sep 06
Location: North Yorkshire
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 14:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
AdZ9
Member
Registered: 14th Apr 06
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
fuck me, i haven't laughed so much at an email type joke like this for ages, haha i never seen it before. Classic
topshot_2k
Banned
Registered: 1st Dec 03
Location: Northampton Drives: Pug GTi-6
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Aaron
Member
Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Number 10 kills me every time i read it i can just picture it!!
whitter45
Member
Registered: 15th Nov 02
Location: Norton
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost Repost








But still funny mate

[Edited on 09-03-2007 by whitter45]
AndyKent
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 05
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
at number 10 even more now!

But WTF did you find the need for loads of reposts??? Not funny just spam 'mate'.....
topshot_2k
Banned
Registered: 1st Dec 03
Location: Northampton Drives: Pug GTi-6
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
PMSL at number 2 and 12
AdZ9
Member
Registered: 14th Apr 06
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
3 is sick but very funny, is it wrong that i want to go to my local tescos and do these, its brought upon a new meaning of shopping haha
topshot_2k
Banned
Registered: 1st Dec 03
Location: Northampton Drives: Pug GTi-6
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
AndyKent
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 05
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by AdZ9
3 is sick but very funny, is it wrong that i want to go to my local tescos and do these, its brought upon a new meaning of shopping haha


Please do, post results here
wilson_sri
Member
Registered: 31st Aug 04
Location: Dunfermline Drives: Technics 1210s
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 15:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Thats fuckin awesome!
nathy_87
Member
Registered: 14th Aug 08
Location: West Mids. Drives: Škoda Fabia VRS 5J
User status: Offline
9th Mar 07 at 16:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
best repost in a long time, and whitter45 your so lame keep them jokes coming

 
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