boyracer2002
Member
Registered: 10th Aug 02
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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Repost? i dont care 
An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. How
many children?" asks the council worker. 10" replies the Essex girl
10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?" Wayne, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and
Wayne"
-Doesn't that get confusing?"
Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street
I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED
NOW and they all do it...
" What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their urnames"
An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.
'' I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. '''
Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. '' No" she replies. ''
This time it's mayonnaise."
Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some
questions?"
Essex Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Essex Girl: " Sharon ."
Medic: "OK Sharon , is this your car?"
Sharon : "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon : "Romford, mate."
An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.
It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13.
Please be careful!"
It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"
Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash;
There's blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Essex girl "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
Essex girl "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says,
"Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your
wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?" The Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me roight foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot" ''Cor blimey'', exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them''.
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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old ones are always the best
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dave17
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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love it 
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Jules S
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
"That's a fire extinguisher."
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MatthewR
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline
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superb
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Ben G
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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my girlfriends just like that 
im trying to de-chav her at the moment
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c4rsa-sport
Member
Registered: 6th Apr 05
Location: halesowen - birmingham
User status: Offline
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lol, had a good laugh at them
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chris_uk
Premium Member
Registered: 8th Jul 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by KROOZUK-BEN
my girlfriends just like that
im trying to de-chav her at the moment
 what she can take a fire extinguisher!
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Ben G
Member
Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by chris_uk
quote:
Originally posted by KROOZUK-BEN
my girlfriends just like that
im trying to de-chav her at the moment
what she can take a fire extinguisher!
you name it... 
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