Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),
Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has,
we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics
(and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the
road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the
windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept
this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh! would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five
percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator war ning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning
light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out! and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car
was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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I love 6 and 7
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Brett
Premium Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Manchester
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Nath
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: MK
User status: Offline
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that is ace!
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topshot_2k
Banned
Registered: 1st Dec 03
Location: Northampton Drives: Pug GTi-6
User status: Offline
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:loo: sounds very much like owning an Alpha 
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bubble
Member
Registered: 24th Jan 04
Location: Darwin, NT Australia.
User status: Offline
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bill gets gets pwned
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Dom H
Member
Registered: 14th Jun 06
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Colin5. Macintosh! would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five
percent of the roads.
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Seany
Member
Registered: 13th Dec 06
Location: Dunfermline, Fife : Drives Astra cdti Sri
User status: Offline
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ha thats quality
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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great stuff
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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Liam
Member
Registered: 19th Jan 06
Location: Stafford
User status: Offline
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Colin
Member
Registered: 4th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by topshot_2k
:loo: sounds very much like owning an Alpha
Alpha
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J B
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 07
Location: Hants/Wilts Drives: Audi S3
User status: Offline
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
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Steve
Premium Member
Registered: 30th Mar 02
Location: Worcestershire Drives: Defender
User status: Offline
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is this true though or just a joke?
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve
is this true though or just a joke?
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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did i not post this last week?
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Ian W
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 03
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by TNM
did i not post this last week?
Been doing the rounds for years
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drax
Member
Registered: 5th Feb 05
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
User status: Offline
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All great apart from how innacurate and stupid they sound and if people were all made to take a test before they could use a computer on their own they'd realise just how stupid all of the problems that mentioned in that joke!
Its like giving a car to someone who knowns nothing about it and expect them to know to put the clutch down or infact what pedal does what
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