Dione J
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 04
Location: West Midlands Drives: Leon Cupra Turbo
User status: Offline
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On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are dose?, asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger.
"Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everyting!"
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Matt H
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Registered: 11th Sep 01
Location: South Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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RyanSxi
Member
Registered: 26th Jul 06
User status: Offline
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great stuff 
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Andy GSi
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 02
Location: Shropshire, Drives 2.0l 16v Corsa
User status: Offline
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Mather.16v
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Stockport
User status: Offline
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This is a true story from an Arsenal Season Ticket Holder from last season and highlights the fact that woman just don't get football.
His season-ticket last year was an absolute plum seat half way up the Highbury main stand close to the half-way line. In other words, a TV camera style view.
Anyway, after the first few games of the season it became apparent that despite all the home games being sell-outs, the two seats on his left were always empty. This continued until just after Christmas when all of a sudden a guy and his young son appeared there.
After a few weeks of sitting next to this guy and his son, he decided to ask if the guy knew why the seats had been empty for half the season. The response is legendary:
'Yeah don't even go there mate. The wife bought me and my son a season ticket but decided it would be a nice idea to give us them for Christmas. I was f***in' raging!'
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JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
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at both!
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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All Torque
Member
Registered: 17th Nov 05
Location: Milton Keynes Drives: Ford Focus TDCi
User status: Offline
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