Andy GSi
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 02
Location: Shropshire, Drives 2.0l 16v Corsa
User status: Offline
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Had this emailed round work:
HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS
AROUND THE COUNTRY:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.
eeewwwww.....
PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, itwas revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, whe n his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mx into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, (no sh** Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy - we
live sheltered lives!)
BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (Oh my gosh!!!)
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! ----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergenc y room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around herhead. They eventually explained to doctors tht they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or
what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! I'm still
laughing!!!!
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ClaireF
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 05
Location: hurlford, scotland Drives: corsa again
User status: Offline
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Conway563
Member
Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline
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That last ones quality
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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no joke i first head those about 8 years ago on the net.
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3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
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concrete wouldn't set in an arse
a fat person wouldn't lose a remote control
a drunk wouldn't be able to find his eye with any precision, nor remember about contact lenses
Sassy doesn't live in washington
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abdus
Member
Registered: 23rd Feb 06
User status: Offline
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nik
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 00
User status: Offline
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Very true. A remote control is a very important device and a man's best friend to a fatty. Lies.
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Liam
Member
Registered: 19th Jan 06
Location: Stafford
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Branners
That last ones quality
Have to agree there.
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