Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!
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--Dave--
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Registered: 17th Feb 04
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does this mean the husbands had identical names? Why wasn't this mentioned in the joke?
So many questions....
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James
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Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
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Rubbish joke IMO 
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gianluigi
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Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
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James
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Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
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quote:
Originally posted by gianluigi
See, only the simple minded find that joke funny
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--Dave--
Banned
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found any mushrooms lately Luigi?
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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I like it 
Maybe the hotel email was called message from loved one
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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quote:
Originally posted by James
Rubbish joke IMO
Fuck off then
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
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don't try and protect your shoot jokes Tom 
PS love you honey xxxxXXXXxxxx
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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I have many jokes stolen mainly using the search function on here
Two condoms walked past a gaybar, they stopped outside to look through the window and one turned to the other and said shall we go in and get sh it faced
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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did you hear about the short sighted circumstiser?? . . . . . . . . he got the sack
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs Fitzgerald," he said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?" "Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realised that she'd had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.
After rolling around for a few moments, the reverend wound up on top of Mrs Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The pub landlord looked over and said, "Oi Mate, we won't have any of that carrying on in this pub." The reverend looked up at the landlord and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps."
The landlord nodded and said, "Oh well, if you're that far in, you might as well finish."
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--Dave--
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Registered: 17th Feb 04
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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mating call of a cuckoo?
cuckoo cuckoo.
mating call of an owl?
twit a woo twit a woo.
mating call of a blackbird?
go on leeroy, stick it up me ar5e!
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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I just bought a new state-of-the-art Sony car stereo!
When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music.
When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music.
Some kids ran in front of my car this morning and I shouted "fcuking Kids"
..... and it played Michael Jackson.
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--Dave--
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PMSL @ Pastor Flapps  he's quite the gentleman!
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
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quote:
Originally posted by Tom
mating call of a cuckoo?
cuckoo cuckoo.
mating call of an owl?
twit a woo twit a woo.
mating call of a blackbird?
go on leeroy, stick it up me ar5e!
LMFAO!! that's a good one Tom.
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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I am a thief
I like the pastor flapps one muchly
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Holly Olly
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Registered: 15th May 06
Location: Gosport, Hampshire
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I liked that joke
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James
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Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
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You have redeemed yourself
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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quote:
Originally posted by Holly Olly
I like it passed the flapps
I bet you do you slut
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
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pics of Holly's flaps?
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--Dave--
Banned
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I will settle for pics of Bingo Wings....
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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Pics of holly's friends boobeh's (prefferably in a bouncing motion).
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
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pics of Holly doing the splits on her bed with a tesco bag over her head
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