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Author Websites that make you laugh
Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 09:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Like the Ruthless Reviews website where I can read stuff that is well written and funny. Have no work to do today, thought I could spend my day giggling

Anyone know of any?
Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 09:05   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Found one already

http://www.fortheretarded.com/
CorsAsh
Member

Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 09:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote



quote:
"Brokeback Mountain is a movie about two pretty cowboys who get drunk on whiskey and then have violent buttsex without so much as five seconds of foreplay. The film then tells us that this is true love and spends the next two hours convincing us of that."
corsa5dr
Member

Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: Bath/Bristol - Evo 4 GSR
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 09:35   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

The confessions one
Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 09:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

http://grouphug.us/page/36/n
Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

FPMSL

when i was 29 years old, i was at my aunt and uncle's house visiting. i needed to use the bathroom really bad, but i had to take a number 2 and i have a fear of using other peoples toilets when taking craps. i don't know why, but i like the homefield advantage. anyways, after holding it for about 2 1/2 hours, i couldn't take it anymore. i went into the bathroom, turned on the water in the sink, and tried to use the toilet but i just couldn't. so i flushed the toilet and pretended i used the can. when i got out, my uncle told me that the hot water heater was acting up and wanted me to go look at it down in the basement. i went down there while my uncle went to the garage to get some tools. while i was down there, i saw the cat box and i thought perfect. so before i could think things out, i proceded to take a crap in the cat box. i barely got my pants up when my uncle came down and noticed the large amount of fecal waste in the catbox. i told him the cat was just down here and left this surprise. he looked at me kinda funny and we fixed the hot water heater. later that night during supper, my aunt mentioned to me that their cat got hit by a car and died.
Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:01   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

A man after my own heart

925972235 I spend 5-6 hours a day surfing the net at work. I work 2 hours.
dave17
Member

Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

http://www.corsasport.co.uk
Tom
Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

TNM
Member

Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

ollie the one about the shoot in the cat box is funny
Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

This is another good one

I'm a programmer in my spare time. I created a games website for me and my mates to use in our free time. Word got around and I was fed up of the little kids in school using it as well as my mates and I.

I created a sign-up script which meant you needed to create an account to play the games, and I controled which accounts could access the games and those that couldn't.

I asked that users provide their hotmail email addresses as usernames along with a password.
...Most people are kind of dumb, and automatically just enter their hotmail password along with their hotmail email address.

I stole over 500 hotmail usernames and passwords, 80% of which still work. Furthermore, most people use the same password for everything.

Sorry.
Ojc
Member

Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:18   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Another

Once when I was taking a shower, my nose started bleeding for some reason. There was a lot of blood, and it dripped all over me and I rubbed it on me. I loved it how I looked, covered in blood. Then I heard as the doorbell rang. I checked who was coming from the door-eye, and saw it was some old granny who I didn't know. I opened the door and looked as frightening as I could. I was butt naked and covered in blood. She passed out and hit her head. I just called the ambulance and forgot about it. I still don't know what happened to her, in fact, I don't want to know. She might be dead.
Jason Iles
Member

Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Sassy

I went on an internet forum site and noticed there were all guys on there, I am also a guy, there were some parts of the forum that were for "Elite" members only. So I did what anyone would do that wanted to become Elite as quickly as possible, I pretended to be a girl. I went to a dating site and found a good picture of an attractive girl and told everyone that it was me, I made up a fake name and hotmail account for her and everything. I then convinced all these guys that I was a female and in record time I was considered Elite on the site.

I thought I would be excited when it happened, but actually I just felt bad. I had put alot of work into it (several hours a day for 5-6 weeks).
Now, 6 months later I still chat with some of the people from the site and they consider me their friend and stuff, but they still think I am a female. I want to tell them, but I think that if they found out they would be very angry with me and possibly find me and cause harm to me. (I'm such a pussy) some of the people are really cool and I feel bad that I am leading them on.

There is one guy that probably masturbates to me everynight after I get done talking to him (disgusting).

And now for the obligitory "does that make me a bad person?"
Tom
Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

FPMSL @ the internet one....I've got something to tell you ppl
drunkenfool
Member

Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:25   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
Found one already

http://www.fortheretarded.com/


LMFAO @ the review of brokeback mountain...

"Brokeback Mountain is a movie about two pretty cowboys who get drunk on whiskey and then have violent buttsex without so much as five seconds of foreplay. The film then tells us that this is true love and spends the next two hours convincing us of that."
ed
Member

Registered: 10th Sep 03
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
FPMSL

when i was 29 years old, i was at my aunt and uncle's house visiting. i needed to use the bathroom really bad, but i had to take a number 2 and i have a fear of using other peoples toilets when taking craps. i don't know why, but i like the homefield advantage. anyways, after holding it for about 2 1/2 hours, i couldn't take it anymore. i went into the bathroom, turned on the water in the sink, and tried to use the toilet but i just couldn't. so i flushed the toilet and pretended i used the can. when i got out, my uncle told me that the hot water heater was acting up and wanted me to go look at it down in the basement. i went down there while my uncle went to the garage to get some tools. while i was down there, i saw the cat box and i thought perfect. so before i could think things out, i proceded to take a crap in the cat box. i barely got my pants up when my uncle came down and noticed the large amount of fecal waste in the catbox. i told him the cat was just down here and left this surprise. he looked at me kinda funny and we fixed the hot water heater. later that night during supper, my aunt mentioned to me that their cat got hit by a car and died.

That is the funniest thing I have ever read.
Pablo
Member

Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

PMFSL @ The http://grouphug.us/page/36/n storys
SXi_Tim
Member

Registered: 11th Mar 03
Location: South Yorkshire Drives: RS3, LET B
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

308985528

Last year I was fired from my job in Queens(NY). A week or so later I saw my former boss in the street and proceeded to beat him up. I left him with two black eyes and a broken nose, maybe some missing teeth. I used a manhole cover that was near an open hole. The nearby construction guys stopped me and I spent a night in jail. My trial is pending, but I feel no guilt whatsoever.

PMSL
Pablo
Member

Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

631239977 I place security tags in innocent shoppers bags and pockets to see their embarrasment when the alarm goes off.
Jason Iles
Member

Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

OMFG

i work with kids 5 days a week, and sometimes i feel myself losing control. some kids need the fucking shit beat out of them, i reckon.
K2 GTi
Member

Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I was dating this girl for about 4 months. One time after having sex we both were laying in bed. She had fallen asleep. I got bored just lying there awake. I started to poke at her to make sure she was really sleeping. By this time I had a hard-on. Then I got up and started slapping her with my cock right in the face. She still didn't wake up so I opened her mouth and shoved my dick right in. It hurt because she kind of teethed it. She woke up as soon as I tried to force my cock down her throat. In a muffled voice(she had a dick in her mouth) she tries to ask me what the hell I was doing. By this time it was too late because she proceeded to voluntarily suck it. I liked it. She is a good girl. Real champ if you ask me. I think I'm gonna give her a call because thie memory just got me horny as hell. Thank you


Jason Iles
Member

Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

PMSL
K2 GTi
Member

Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

I want to live in Bristol
Tom
Member

Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by K2 HOY
I was dating this girl for about 4 months. One time after having sex we both were laying in bed. She had fallen asleep. I got bored just lying there awake. I started to poke at her to make sure she was really sleeping. By this time I had a hard-on. Then I got up and started slapping her with my cock right in the face. She still didn't wake up so I opened her mouth and shoved my dick right in. It hurt because she kind of teethed it. She woke up as soon as I tried to force my cock down her throat. In a muffled voice(she had a dick in her mouth) she tries to ask me what the hell I was doing. By this time it was too late because she proceeded to voluntarily suck it. I liked it. She is a good girl. Real champ if you ask me. I think I'm gonna give her a call because thie memory just got me horny as hell. Thank you





That's fucking class
--Dave--
Banned

Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
13th Jul 06 at 10:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

keep em coming please

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