dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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Recently i got made redundant at my old job, so im looking for another Graphic Design position.
Been going through job listings and i found this one, needless to say, i applied 
Mac Fairy
Recruiter name: access devices
Date posted: 19 May 2006
Location: London
Disciplines: Design, Creative
Functions: Creative, Designer
Sector:
Position type: Full time
Salary description: £18-25K
Cooler than an arctic monkey, more street than a pothole, the world’s flyest digital TV business is adding to its posse of box pimping brainiacs.
If you’ve got the bling, pointy shoes and a feathery hat, we want your sweet cerebral booty.
Anal, anyone? Our Mac Daddy is looking for a disciplined, methodical and meticulous young, gifted and freakishly fl exible individual with a lust for everything Adobe. You’ll knock out packaging, point-of-sale, web graphics, technical literature and advertising. And if you’re really good, you might get to sit on daddy’s knee.
You give us
• Exemplary layout skills
• A passion for detail and organisation We’ll give you
• £18-25K
• Water-based lubricant
We’ll give you
• £18-25K
• Water-based lubricant
About Access Devices
We design and manufacture digital TV products - including digital TVs, Freeview set-top boxes, digital TV recorders and broadband TV products - for some of the world’s leading brands and retailers. We’re also an equal opportunities employer, which means we’re obliged to consider your application no matter how hopeless you are.
All jobs include
• Company pension
• Relocation support
• Private health care
• Permanent health insurance
• Subsidised gym
• A small Dachshund called Colin
 
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Sam
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Gavin_G
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Registered: 12th Apr 02
Location: Bucks
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antscorsa
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: london
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what happend at phat house dave?
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antscorsa
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: london
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also dave pick upa copy of design week, loadsa jobs in back of there!
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Paul_J
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Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: London
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lol! what the fuck? that's surely a joke
'anal anyone?' 'you might sit on daddys knee' 'we'll consider you, regardless of how hopeless you are'
wtf? 
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
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Got done over matey 
Haven been paid yet either
IS design week in normal magazine stockists then?
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
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quote:
Originally posted by Paul_J
lol! what the fuck? that's surely a joke
'anal anyone?' 'you might sit on daddys knee' 'we'll consider you, regardless of how hopeless you are'
wtf?
I applied anyway, il post my reply
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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Subject: Graphic Design Position
To the creative job description writer,
I'm not really sure where to start after reading the description on mad.co.uk, after i have calmed down from the laughter while reading it, my mind is a still a bit boggled after sifting through all the regular descriptions and then finding your little gem!
What attracted me even more was your 'equal opportunities program', does this mean even i could be in with a shout?!?!
To be honest i am a bit put off that i have to give you £18-25k though, i dont have that cash to hand, i could maybe transfer some from my offshore accounts? Or possibly there was an error in the job description, who knows??
But jokes aside, i am very intrigued by the job on offer. I have experience in various areas of design, as you will see by taking a look at my cv, that is fact, not fiction!!
If i must, then i suppose i could fit you into my hectic schedule for a meeting to present you my portfolio.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks
David Bevan
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antscorsa
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: london
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its in rave college, dave! u could prob just walk in and go libary haha or go online, they must have a website!
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Lawrah
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Registered: 25th Dec 04
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http://www.accessdevices.co.uk/media/recruit/09%20Computing%20May%202006.pdf
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Paul_J
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Registered: 6th Jun 02
Location: London
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Oh dear 
I could imagine 1 person writing the advert, and a serious HR woman being the person sifting through the applications and thinking wtf is this joker on about?
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
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quote:
Originally posted by antscorsa
its in rave college, dave! u could prob just walk in and go libary haha or go online, they must have a website!
haven got my card anymore
and its a long way, il check smiths or something 
Paul - Worth the risk really i think, you have to be different, thats what designs all about
Lawrah - erm, thanks
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Rus
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Registered: 24th Jan 05
Location: SE London, Kent
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i'll sound lame here, but where did you go dave to find work in this sort of business? i wouldn't know where to start, i fancy some freelance work myself
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Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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All jobs should be advertised more like that, sounds good
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dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
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Ive been to the job centre, recuitment agencies and now looking on the web. Its hard work
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--Dave--
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Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
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good luck Dave
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Corsa_Carl
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Registered: 8th Oct 04
Location: Darlington
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i dont get payed anywhere near that and thats the exact job i do
i heard u got more down south tho !
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Corsa_Carl
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Registered: 8th Oct 04
Location: Darlington
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we need another guy workin out my place aswell so if u fancy movin up north uve got a job  lol
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SVM 286
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Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
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quote:
Originally posted by dave17
Ive been to the job centre, recuitment agencies and now looking on the web. Its hard work
Tell me about it. Been looking since November. Job situation is bad at the moment.
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SVM 286
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Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by dave17
All jobs include
• Relocation support
Does this include Indonesia or the Bahamas?
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