Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Homoeroticism:
ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Gayest of all 80s Action films! ALERT!
In Indian movies, sex is represented by dancing. For a variety of reasons, Bollywood considers onscreen sex taboo, much the same way we consider gay sex of any kind taboo. Especially back during the last year of Reagan's presidency <http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/80saction/timeline.html>, and double especially up on the silver screen. Since writer/director Walter Hill was unable to show two hours of nonstop man-on-man ass-fucking, he decided to represent his and the cast's secret passions with fighting. Why didn't he choose dancing to symbolize the physical act of love like his Indian counterparts? Would you sit through Schwarzenegger and Belushi dancing for two hours?
If you watch carefully you will notice that in practically every scene, Schwarzenegger grabs hold of the person he is talking with. And not in his typical, gubernatorial manner either. With one exception, everyone Arnold touches is male. Honestly, the violence is simply too standard and unimaginative for there to be any other explanation other than flirting and foreplay. Shootouts represent the actual intercourse, and getting hit by a bullet is like a money shot. Even my girlfriend (who is being a saint and suffering through countless hours of macho-drivel while we compile this Guide) commented on the fact that throughout the entire film, Victor, the bad guy, was able to kill everyone he was shooting at with ease, but at the climax, nine feet away from Arnold - who is about three feet wide - he misses. Obviously, missing one's target means premature ejaculation or some sort of erectile dysfunction. And you simply have to see Belushi and Schwarzenegger arguing about whether or not Arnold's owning a pet parakeet is feminine or not to understand the mega-gayness of it all.
Red Heat opens with possibly the most fully homoerotic twenty minutes in cinematic history. Think I'm exaggerating? The first scene is in a bathhouse! Some will argue that since it was a co-ed bathhouse, the homoeroticism is absent. I say bullshit; all those nude chicks were actually hardcore steroid freaks whose breasts had dropped and whose nuts had been sucked back into the body. Present are guys lifting weights naked... Arnold is also totally nude, of course. As in most of Arnold's movies <http://ruthlessreviews.com/movies/t/t3.html> we are treated to a nice ten-second shot of his ass. Needless to say that within thirty seconds he is "beating up" other guys. He even frolics in the snow with two big bears. After the nude-fighting, the "partner" actually tells Arnold that he noticed the both of them are circumcised. For reals! The bad guy Victor then shoots Arnold's "partner" dead and Schwarzenegger is so shaken up he can't attend the funeral. He can, of course, swear revenge. Using the "violence as a substitute for man-love" metaphor, the above means that Arnold caught his "partner" in bed with the bad guy, and now he wants a piece of that sweet, sweet ass for himself. Additionally, remember that when Arnold gets to his hotel in Chicago, he turns on some porno where a woman is clearly getting fucked. He then starts shaking his head "no." I'm not making this up. Red Heat = gayest of all.
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gianluigi
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Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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Does this film critic think every movie is homoerotic?
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Ojc
Member
Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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Yes, all 80's action movies are, I've been going through ever review and after him pointing out the gayness I have come to the conclusion that the 80's is very GHEY
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Mark1984_SRI
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Registered: 7th Feb 06
Location: Preston
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perhaps the critic himself has repressed homosexual tendencies towards the 80's films and misinterpereted ideologies belonging to this era. He then feels the urge to express them through criticisms of 80's 'macho' movies. By reading his criticisms, you are thus subjecting yourself to his money shot and fulfilling all of his desires  just a thought
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by gianluigi
Does this film critic think every movie is homoerotic?
Im starting to think this, in fact this guy is beginning to bore me.
his writing is average at best and the humour occasionaly amusing imo.
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
User status: Offline
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I find the writing hilarious, even though he is a American.
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SetH
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 01
User status: Offline
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regarding homo related jokes etc i find the ones made here on CS a hellva lot more amusing then that peenarse's reviews.
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