Tesco Joke - Corsa Sport - for Vauxhall and Opel Corsa B, Corsa C and Corsa D

Not logged in [Login - Register]

You Are Not Registered Or Not Logged In

Corsa Sport » Message Board » Off Day » Tesco Joke

New Topic

New Poll

Subscribe | Add to Favourites

You are not logged in and may not post or reply to messages. Please log in or create a new account or mail us about fixing an existing one - register@corsasport.co.uk

There are also many more features available when you are logged in such as private messages, buddy list, location services, post search and more.

leeshez

Member

Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline

23rd Mar 06 at 20:04

>One night in the Six Bells, Stan says to Mike
>"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor"
>"Listen, you don't have to waste your time sitting in doctors surgeries,"
>replies Mike. "There's a diagnostic computer in Tesco's. Just give it a
>urine sample an the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
>about it. It takes only ten seconds and costs five quid - a lot better that
>a sitting doctor surgeries."
>
>So Stan pops a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He
>deposits a five into the machine and the computer lights up and asks for
>the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds
>later the computer ejects a printout:
>
>You have tennis elbow. Soak it in warm water, rub in some arnica (Aisle 4)
>and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for
>shopping @ Tesco.
>
>That afternoon, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Stan
>began wondering if the computer could
>be fooled. When he got home, he mixed some tap water, a stool sample from
>his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and his own sperm sample
>for good measure, and hurried to Tesco before it closed, eager to check the
>result.
>
>He deposited five pounds, poured in his concoction and awaited the results.
>The computer lights up and ten seconds later prints the following:
>
> 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener kit (Aisle 9)
>
> 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (Aisle
>7)
>
> 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>
> 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>
> 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
>get better.
>
> Thank you for shopping @ Tesco.

mark_gsi

Member

Registered: 1st Nov 03
Location: Peterlee/darlington
User status: Offline

23rd Mar 06 at 20:13

haha