leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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>>>One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
> Sweatshirt.
>>>Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
>>>"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
>>>
>>>"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
>>>
>>>He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
>>>
>>>And they say blondes are dumb...
>>>
>>>A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>>>happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
>>>
>>>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
>>>out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would
>>>think
>
>>>if I mowed the lawn like this?"
>>>
>>>"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
>>>
>>>He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's
>>>a
>
>>>good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa
>>>and fart.
>>>
>>>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>>>A: A rumor
>>>
>>>A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>>>wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
>>>and said that because they had been so good that each one of them
> could have one wish.
>>>The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>>>
>>>Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>>
>>>The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>>>Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
>>>
>>>A PRAYER....
>>>
>>>Dear Lord,
>>>I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
>>>Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
>>>beat him to death.
>>>
>>>AMEN
>>>
>>>Q: Why do little boys whine?
>>>A: They are practicing to be men.
>>>
>>>Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>>>A: Trustworthy.
>>>
>>>Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
>>>calling your name?
>>>A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>>>
>>>Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
>>>A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
>>>
>>>Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>>>A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>>>
>>>Q: What is the difference between men and women?
>>>A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every
>>>woman to satisfy his one need.
>>>
>>>Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>>>A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
>>>
>>>
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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i was hoping to read one of those scribbed pieces of misfortune, and allow my face to distort into a weak smile.
this did not happen.
you suck
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