leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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> Understanding Engineers: One
> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
one
>said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along
> yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on
this
>bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take
what
>you want."
> The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
clothes
>probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
>
> Understanding Engineers: Two
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
> glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
needs
>to be.
>
> Understanding Engineers: Three
> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>particularly slow group of golfers.
> The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been
waiting
for
>fifteen minutes!"
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
golf!"
> The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with
him."
> He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're
>rather slow, aren't they?"
> The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
They
>lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always
>let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment.
The
>priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them
>tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
>ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
them."
> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
>
> Understanding Engineers: Four
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must
have
>designed the human body.
> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the
joints."
>Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has
>many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No,
actually
>it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
>pipeline through a recreational area?"
>
> Understanding Engineers: Five
> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
> enough features yet.
>
> Understanding Engineers: Six
> An engineer was crossing the road one day, when a frog called out to
him
>and said, "If you kiss me I'll back turn into a beautiful princess" He
bent
>over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>
> The frog spoke up again and said "If you kiss me I'll turn back into
a
>beautiful princess and stay with you for a week" The engineer took the
frog
>out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.
>
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a
beautiful
>princess and stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you want me to"
Again
>the engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned
it
>to his pocket.
>
> Finally the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful
>princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you
want
>me
>to. Why won't you kiss me?"
>
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool"
>
>
>
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