mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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Repost? i dunno...i don't care 
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson : Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant : Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting) : Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers
or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson : The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written
by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G,
revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I
can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?
FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
3 ) Name the capital of France? - F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
6 ) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock
9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
11 ) Something that floats in a bath? - Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? - Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate
19) A method of securing y our home? - Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April
22 ) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing
23 ) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
25) Something slippery? - A conman
26 ) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas
30) Something red? - My sweater
RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the Riv er Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright : What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan : The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or
false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV
show,so I'll give you that.
BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four
BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
aryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.
[Edited on 29-01-2006 by mav]
[Edited on 29-01-2006 by Ian]
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Corsalad87
Member
Registered: 17th Jan 04
Location: Trimdon Vill near Durham
User status: Offline
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Some cracking ones there!
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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yeah some funnies like...
you get some dumb ppl..
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mark_gsi
Member
Registered: 1st Nov 03
Location: Peterlee/darlington
User status: Offline
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something a blind man might use - a sword lmao the family fortunes ones are great 
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leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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I like them
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by mav
yeah some funnies like...
you get some dumb ppl..
^^^^^
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vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
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P.S I'm crying at some of these
10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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ace....
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Graeme
Premium Member
Registered: 26th Jul 04
Location: Northampton
User status: Offline
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29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas
[Edited on 29-01-2006 by C4 WLK]
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Jake
Member
Registered: 24th Jan 05
User status: Offline
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Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
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JonnyJ
Member
Registered: 23rd Sep 05
Location: Scotchland
User status: Offline
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PMSL, some of them are quality!
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ady
Member
Registered: 30th Apr 03
Location: ashton
User status: Offline
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lmao class
[Edited on 30-01-2006 by ady]
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gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
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judy finnigan
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Scotty_B
Member
Registered: 11th Jun 03
Location: East Kilbride
User status: Offline
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quote:
14) A famous Royal? - Mail
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