Ren
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Registered: 16th Oct 04
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Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T once rocked the Kasbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Kasbah.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr.
T.
In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him.
What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T was the first to kill two bird with one stone. He kept the stone, and as of now it has killed 6,048.
Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.
Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.
Remember when Mr. T wasn't so popular and awesome? Me neither.
They say when a bear is chasing a group of people, you don't have to outrun the bear, but only have to be faster than the slowest person. If Mr. T is chasing you, you're dead no matter what.
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.
Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.
Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.
Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.
On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks.
Mr. T doesn't have internal organs. He had them removed to make more room for muscle.
The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Mr. T's neck was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
[Edited on 11-12-2005 by Ren]
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Ren
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Registered: 16th Oct 04
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Mr. T didn't know Rocky was a movie. He just wanted to kick the shit out of a white guy and steal his bitch, A-team style. 
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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Awesome thread
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Ren
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Registered: 16th Oct 04
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what a gif
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Ojc
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Registered: 14th Nov 00
Location: Reading: Drives : Clio 197
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Robin
Premium Member
Registered: 7th Jan 04
Location: Northants Drives: Clio 182 Cup
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Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.
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Doug
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Registered: 8th Oct 03
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PMSL Time to change my sig lol
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Ren
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Registered: 16th Oct 04
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And now interesting facts about Chuck Norris....
A little boy once dressed up as Chuck Norris for Halloween. When he rang Chuck Norris' doorbell, Chuck Norris was so excited that he gave the boy the whole bowl of candy. Two seconds later he roundhouse kicked the boy in the face and took it back.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There's no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about Chuck Norris during sex. A similar poll discovered Chuck Norris thinks about Chuck Norris 100% of the time during sex.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
[Edited on 12-12-2005 by Ren]
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vibrio
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Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
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ICY posted the chuck stuff yeserday
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Ren
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Registered: 16th Oct 04
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Quit your jibber-jabba 
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cossie_corsa
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Registered: 15th Nov 03
Location: Newport
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lovin this
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Cybermonkey
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Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
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I AINT GETTIN ON NO PLANE
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Nic Barnes
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Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: nowhere near ginger people
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awsome
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Sam
Moderator
Premium Member
Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
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quote:
Originally posted by Ren
Quit your jibber-jabba
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SteveW
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Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
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holy shit.. im nearly crying.
these are soooo funny.
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SteveW
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Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
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Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
PMSL
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Ja@Vision
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Registered: 27th Jan 05
Location: Gerrards Cross
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Mr T is the toughest man in the world!
http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/9540/sounds/mrtrap.wav
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