Ben
Banned
Registered: 12th Jan 03
Location: West Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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ok .
well my gf is always moaning because i never take her out when am going out with my mates, so the other day , one of lads from work invites me and my lass , with him and his bird. so am like yeh ok .
7pm -go out to a local , introduced mine and his gfs . have about 2 pints of stella then a pint of turbo shandy.
8.30- move onto another local- have 3 turbo shandys and am now feeling it a little
9.15 call a taxi to town
9.30 arrive in town , go to varcity , have 3 double vodka cokes and now am pissed , walks into toilet and bump into my mate (who am out with ) looking at the new machines in the toilets , which sell vibrators , whips , hancuffs , body paint blah blah blah.
**memory leaves my body at this point**
so me been wankerd buys a vibrator and my mate gets the handcuffs, i walk out of toilet straight over to the fittest bird and put this vibrator on her ear, she starts laughing and rubs it between her legs then on my nose
gets chatting to her and my mates dragging me away , i were like whats up ffs , forgetting i were out with my girlfriend
so i walk over to our birds and there none the wiser , i got a beer from the bar and he didnt fill it to the top , so me been me , and been drunk , lean over and fill it up
i got caught 
so am trying to work out how do i get my beer back , then the oppertunity arrises.. i run behind bar and grab it and run back to the other side
i get caught by the guy who took it off me he then goes to bouncers and i see them coming , so i down this pint in about 0.2 of a second , beer flowing out of my mouth but i didnt care . this bouncer grabs me and starts been rough , so i stop and tell him ill walk but to get off me so he does 
so then when am outside i get chatting to these (supposedly 16yr old slappers :lol and then i look around and whos there but my bird , my mates bird and my mate...not impressed .
gets in a taxi about 1am and then woke up at half 7 freezing cold on the kitchen tiles
to say the least my bird wernt too happy and i have been licking arse ever since
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