Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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*P**erformance Evaluations **
For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could
have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government
employee performance evaluations.
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has
started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat
in a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
together.."
11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming."
24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking
for it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"
33. "Got into the gene pool when the Lifeguard wasn't looking"*
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Rebrabuk
Member
Registered: 28th Mar 04
Location: North East
User status: Offline
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TNM
Member
Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
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old tommy O L D.
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Jonny P
Member
Registered: 11th Dec 04
Location: Merseyside Drives: Civic Type R EP3
User status: Offline
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i like number 8
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
together.."
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by TNM
old tommy O L D.
Yes but good  I liked number 5
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chris-sri
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 05
User status: Offline
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pmsl at 7
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Carly
Member
Registered: 21st Aug 03
Location: sheffield
User status: Offline
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