leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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>Marriage (Part (I)
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>Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
>wedding,
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>
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>he laid down the following rules:
>
>
>"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't
>
>expect any hassle from you.
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>I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't
>be
>home for dinner.
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>I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want
>with
>my old buddies and
>don't you give me a hard time about it.
>
>Those are my rules. Any comments?"
>
>His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
>there
>will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're here
>or
>not."
>
>(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
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>
>*******************************************************
>Marriage (Part (II)
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>Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
>anniversary!
>The husband yells,
>"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
>"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
>"Yeah?"
>she replies,
>"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
>"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
>
>
>(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
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>*******************************************************
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>Marriage (Part (III)
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>Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
>table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
>either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was
>nasty and decides to make amends and
>rings her, She comes to the phone after many rings
>the irritated husband says,
>"what took you so long to answer the phone?"
>She says,
>"I was in bed."
>"In bed this early, doing what?"
>"Getting a second opinion!"
>
>(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
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>************************************************************************
>****************
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>Marriage (Part IV)
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>A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement He is so
>proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six"
>inspite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man
>decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife
>is ready to leave as well.
>He shouts at the top of his voice
>"Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
>His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
>back
>"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
>
>(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
>
>************************************************
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>
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>Marriage (Part V)
>
>A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
>each
>other the silent treatment.Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
>he
>would need his wife to wake him at 5 0 am for an early morning business
>
>flight.
>Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on
>a
>piece of paper,
>"Please wake me at 50 am"
>He left it where he knew she would find it.
>The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 90 AM and
>he
>had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
>
>hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The
>paper said, "It is 50 AM. Wake up."
>
>
>Men are NOT equipped for these kinds of contests.
>
>
>God may have created man before woman,
>but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
>
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