Angie
Member
Registered: 27th May 04
User status: Offline
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Insert boring sleep inducing stories here 
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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i blame broadband and Corsasport
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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He steals silently through campus, lurking in womens' washrooms and in the back row of classes, and all the while he's screaming like a blue messiah.
"This class licks my scrotum!" screams Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man in the back row of Philosophy 211.6.
"Let's discuss what is actually meant by that idiom," professor Hanson drones.
Suddenly, Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man leapt from his seat, and with a bowel-stretching scream he drew his katana and did a triple mid-air summersault which would have looked great if anyone could have seen it, which no one could.
Arriving at the front of the class after his graceful leap, Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man screamed out a strange, Cantonese death song and in one fluid motion sliced the professor's head off his body. But so swift and powerful was Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man that he kicked the disembodied head out of the door of the classroom with his invisible-ninja-toe before it had even touched the ground.
All of this was a marvelous spectacle and would have received a standing ovation if anyone had seen it. But not only was Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man invisible, but the professor's boring monotone had put the entire class to sleep.
Not disheartened in the least, Screaming-Invisible-Ninja-Man left to strike terror into the evil denizens of the ladies' can
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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Cyber how long did it take you to think that shite up
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Angie
Member
Registered: 27th May 04
User status: Offline
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Thats impressive cyber but as you can see ims till awake so u need to try harder
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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Vic MacClellen was a clever old gent. He was the type of guy who would swipe your morning paper and use it to line a birdcage. His coffee-making skills were less than adequate. His breath smelled of boiled pork chops wrapped in old sweat socks. He had only one thing going for him in life: his solid-gold rocket car.
Vic would merrily cruise through the streets in his sleepy New England neighbourhood, honking at passers-by as if he knew them personally. Sometimes he would run traffic lights in reverse, forcing other more responsible drivers off the road. These people would mostly curse Vic's name under their breath or gesture obscenely as he roared past. By and large, the townspeople despised old Vic and his solid-gold car.
Occasionally, Vic would go to 7-11 and try to purchase a loaf of bread with a solid-gold spark plug. Sometimes he would try to trade a hubcap for admission to the theatre. No one would take him up on any of his outlandish offers, though, because if there was one thing everyone could agree on, it was that no one could come up with an equitable rate of exchange using the fluctuating value of gold on the world market.
Eventually Vic tired of his rocket car and the financial stranglehold that he lorded over the townspeople. He sold his car to Liberace in exchange for a romantic candlelight recital for him and a poster of Jenna Elfman.
Later that same year, Vic was up to his old tricks again with a pewter skateboard he picked up at a yard sale in Albuquerque. But by this time the townspeople had decided that enough was enough, and they encased him in a transparent polymer while he slept.
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...
Once upon a time, a boy called Drew joined a convent as he wanted to become a nun.
The End.
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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is that eskiboys mate your taliking about Cyber?
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Angie
Member
Registered: 27th May 04
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Jodi_the_g
you can sleep with me
Will you sing me a lullaby?
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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yes it is
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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Once upon a time there was a young man named Jake who had no bum. I don't know if he enjoyed his life -- how did he sit down? -- but he was very annoying. He also had the ability to suddenly appear in front of you. But he didn't have a bum.
One day I wondered how Jake could poop without a bum. Then I decided that he was so full of shit he wouldn't need one. It would just ooze out of him, slick and wet, and he would leave a trail of it wherever he went. Sometimes he would just appear in front of someone and the stuff would flow out of him unbidden. The person he was talking to would scream and run or try to stuff toilet paper in his mouth or put a diaper on his face, and they would hold their nose because of the stench. Jake never seemed to mind the smell because, after all, one gets used to the smell of one's own shit, doesn't one?
Jake never thought anything about his problem -- he thought it was as normal as putting ketchup on his eggs. But we all knew he was possessed by Satan.
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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I'll sing in your ear..
but you have to be close to me...............
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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thought so
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Angie
Member
Registered: 27th May 04
User status: Offline
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What sort of songs?
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Cybermonkey
Member
Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
User status: Offline
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21 minutes of pure bliss.
Goldie - Inner City Life (album version)
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Angie
What sort of songs?
pure love songs baby..................U will never have heard better 
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Angie
Member
Registered: 27th May 04
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by mav
quote: Originally posted by Angie
What sort of songs?
pure love songs baby..................U will never have heard better 
will i get a mug of warm milk?
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by mav
quote: Originally posted by Angie
What sort of songs?
Chav classics Volume 12..................U will never have heard better 
C'mon mav, not everyone's into the same as you
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Angie
quote: Originally posted by mav
quote: Originally posted by Angie
What sort of songs?
pure love songs baby..................U will never have heard better 
will i get a mug of warm milk?
warm something but may not be milk..looks lke it though
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Angie
Member
Registered: 27th May 04
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by mav
quote: Originally posted by Angie
quote: Originally posted by mav
quote: Originally posted by Angie
What sort of songs?
pure love songs baby..................U will never have heard better 
will i get a mug of warm milk?
warm something but may not be milk..looks lke it though
How Rude!!
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Angie
quote: Originally posted by mav
quote: Originally posted by Angie
quote: Originally posted by mav
quote: Originally posted by Angie
What sort of songs?
pure love songs baby..................U will never have heard better 
will i get a mug of warm milk?
warm something but may not be milk..looks lke it though
How Rude!!
it's sweet though..........will deffo sleep after some............or is that just men that do that.......
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Swiftie
Member
Registered: 7th Jan 05
Location: Greater London
User status: Offline
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quote: Originally posted by Angie
quote: Originally posted by mav
warm something but may not be milk..looks lke it though
How Rude!!
Least you will be gettin some protein supplements.
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Corsa E-Tec
Member
Registered: 4th Feb 04
Location: Stevenage Drives: Leon Cupra
User status: Offline
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i need sleep, but too drunk and dont want a hangover
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Skipz
Member
Registered: 23rd Aug 03
Location: Falkirk: Drives:nothing but gettin another Corsa
User status: Offline
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Mav you better hope your missus doesnt get curious and look on here
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mav
Member
Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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she was looking the other night...I stood over and said what u doin......just looking....
how do you know where to go she said....
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