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Author Classy English Jokes
vibrio
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Registered: 28th Feb 01
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17th Jun 04 at 13:16   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
> Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
> A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.
>
> Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted
> red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a
> laughing stock and crumbled in the box.
>
>
> Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
> A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence
>
> Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young
> woman in a Spanish nightclub with a one-liner have been completely
> refuted by the English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer
> stated: "I find it totally preposterous to suggest that one of our
> players could make a successful pass to or at anyone."
>
> Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine? A. A
> jet engine eventually stops whining.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
> English football fan on the road? A. There are skid marks in front of
> the dog.
>
> Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
> A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
>>
> Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to
> their necks in sand? A. Not enough sand.
deanmcreynolds26
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Location: E46 //M3
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17th Jun 04 at 13:20   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Mattb
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17th Jun 04 at 13:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
they are funny, but im not laighing on principle..
blebo
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17th Jun 04 at 13:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Ojc
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17th Jun 04 at 13:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Q)When are Scotland ever gonna qualify for a major championship?

A)Never
neiliosxi
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Registered: 17th Dec 02
Location: Teesside (NE)Drives: Megane R26
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17th Jun 04 at 13:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
Q)When are Scotland ever gonna qualify for a major championship?

A)Never
blebo
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Registered: 18th Apr 02
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17th Jun 04 at 13:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
Q)When are Scotland ever gonna qualify for a major championship?

A)Never


At least we admit it though...rather than all the "We are the best, We are going to beat France", Ooops got beat
Tom
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Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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17th Jun 04 at 13:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Oh and why would oxo bring a flag out in red white and BLUE for england look at u trying to geg in with us using the uk flag
vibrio
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17th Jun 04 at 13:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ojc
Q)When are England ever gonna win a major championship again?

A)Never
blebo
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Registered: 18th Apr 02
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17th Jun 04 at 13:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
Oh and why would oxo bring a flag out in red white and BLUE for england look at u trying to geg in with us using the uk flag


You highjacked the National Anthem when you play football, why not the flag as well. Dont see why the English team should be allowed to play Good Save the Queen
Tom
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Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
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17th Jun 04 at 13:43   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by blebo
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
Oh and why would oxo bring a flag out in red white and BLUE for england look at u trying to geg in with us using the uk flag


You highjacked the National Anthem when you play football, why not the flag as well. Dont see why the English team should be allowed to play Good Save the Queen


What do scotland play, or have u forgot
blebo
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Registered: 18th Apr 02
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17th Jun 04 at 13:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Scotland - Flower Of Scotland
Welsh Land of my Fathers

English - God Save the Queen

http://www.imagesoft.net/flags/anthems.html




[Edited on 17-06-2004 by blebo]
Tom
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17th Jun 04 at 13:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by blebo
Scotland - Flower Of Scotland
Welsh Land of my Fathers

English - God Save the Queen


Maybe it's because it's where her main place of residency is
blebo
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17th Jun 04 at 13:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
vibrio
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17th Jun 04 at 14:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
quote:
Originally posted by blebo
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
Oh and why would oxo bring a flag out in red white and BLUE for england look at u trying to geg in with us using the uk flag


You highjacked the National Anthem when you play football, why not the flag as well. Dont see why the English team should be allowed to play Good Save the Queen


What do scotland play, or have u forgot



flower of scotland - some song about wallace and Edwards ass getting kicked
Tom
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17th Jun 04 at 14:24   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by vibrio
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
quote:
Originally posted by blebo
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
Oh and why would oxo bring a flag out in red white and BLUE for england look at u trying to geg in with us using the uk flag


You highjacked the National Anthem when you play football, why not the flag as well. Dont see why the English team should be allowed to play Good Save the Queen


What do scotland play, or have u forgot



flower of scotland - some song about wallace and Edwards ass getting kicked


Oh good
Jamie
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Location: Aberdeen
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17th Jun 04 at 14:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
L330wnz
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Location: Norwich, Norfolk
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17th Jun 04 at 14:48   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Tom
quote:
Originally posted by blebo
Scotland - Flower Of Scotland
Welsh Land of my Fathers

English - God Save the Queen


Maybe it's because it's where her main place of residency is


yesh Tom sure it is... so scots can sing 'God Save Billy Connolly' ? About all they got to fcuking sing about
John
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Registered: 30th Jun 03
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17th Jun 04 at 14:58   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Notice how the scots hav some original jokes like the ones vibs posted, then you get the never heard before come back of somethin to do with scotland not making it into anythin. The point is we don't go about saying we are the best etc.
L330wnz
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Registered: 9th Mar 04
Location: Norwich, Norfolk
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17th Jun 04 at 14:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
nor do we, its the media so dont be stereotypical we're just poking fun at u jock strap!

 
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