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Author David brent [hardcore office fans only]
sxi16vjoe
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Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Kent
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14th Sep 04 at 22:57   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Funjnieset thing ever!!!

I love David Brent!!
Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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15th Sep 04 at 11:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Look love, jus coz u let some bloke blow his beans up ur muff

Beans?

PMSL
purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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15th Sep 04 at 11:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Fucking class, when he's being interviewed for the magazine,

"strings to brents bow; A) Philanthropist..."
sxi16vjoe
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Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Kent
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15th Sep 04 at 11:44   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
"I can honestly say, I've never come over a little queer"


LMAO
Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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15th Sep 04 at 11:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
"Brent muses"
purple_corsa_gls
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Registered: 25th May 04
Location: Near Sunderland
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15th Sep 04 at 11:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Robbo
"Brent muses"


Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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15th Sep 04 at 11:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Could we jus stick to my questions pleae

Can u jus leave....

Oh you mean me 2! PMSL
sxi16vjoe
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Registered: 16th Dec 02
Location: Kent
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15th Sep 04 at 11:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
At one time or another.Every bloke in the office has woke up at the crack of Dawn!
Tom_1.216v
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Registered: 16th Apr 04
Location: SOUTHAMPTON
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15th Sep 04 at 11:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
my fave one is the training day one!
when David Brent is singing that song and gareth sings "she's dead"
and david goes "she not dead!"

oh and the bit where he says get there attetion
David "id like to make a complaint
"don't care"
"Theres been a rape"
"Always get there attetion"
Jason Iles
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Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
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15th Sep 04 at 11:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Christmas special -

“If they loved me why are they throwing stuff? Throwing water, plastic bottles, underpants?! One bloke threw a pair of y-fronts, hit me in the face, and I knew it was nutella or marmite he’d smudged on the gusset. But it was still him going ‘that’s what we think of you mate. You’re shit’.”
“Where did he get the marmite from? He must of prepared that from home cos he knew you were on.”
“Well that doesn’t make me feel any better? Why say that?”
Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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15th Sep 04 at 12:00   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by J 11ESY
Christmas special -

“If they loved me why are they throwing stuff? Throwing water, plastic bottles, underpants?! One bloke threw a pair of y-fronts, hit me in the face, and I knew it was nutella or marmite he’d smudged on the gusset. But it was still him going ‘that’s what we think of you mate. You’re shit’.”
“Where did he get the marmite from? He must of prepared that from home cos he knew you were on.”
“Well that doesn’t make me feel any better? Why say that?”
PMSL yes that is a classic one

Yeah baby, groovy
Jason Iles
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Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
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15th Sep 04 at 12:09   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
“I could catch a monkey. If I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison of the deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself and you’d be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times.”
Cybermonkey
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Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
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15th Sep 04 at 23:47   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
what about the one where gareth and tim are in the coffee room and gareth says

"will a boy ever be born who can swim faster than a shark"

another good un

Theres a whole bunch of them in the coffee room, like tim, dawn, gareth (eating wotsits), the black guy and the woman who fancies him,gareth asks her what her preference was,

"i like blacks" and he was sitting next to her
Cybermonkey
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Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
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15th Sep 04 at 23:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
another good one, keith talking to dawn about going to america and says

"in america they dont call them bumbags, they call the fannypacks, because in america fanny means your bum, not your minge"
Cybermonkey
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Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
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15th Sep 04 at 23:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
not forgetting of course, my favourite scene ever, gareth aproaching tims new girlfriend the blonde one and saying

"if you two do go all the way, im not going in there (pointing at her crotch) i dont do sloppy seconds"
dave17
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Registered: 3rd Sep 02
Location: Greater London
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16th Sep 04 at 00:12   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Cybermonkey24
not forgetting of course, my favourite scene ever, gareth aproaching tims new girlfriend the blonde one and saying

"if you two do go all the way, im not going in there (pointing at her crotch) i dont do sloppy seconds"



i remember that 1
Sims
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Registered: 15th Aug 03
Location: Bath/Bristol area Drove: 1994 Corsa SRi Now: VTR
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16th Sep 04 at 08:50   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
This is a class thread.

I like his dodgey poem he reads to dawn

“I froze your tears and made a dagger,
and stabbed it in my cock forever.
It stays there like Excalibur,
Are you my Arthur?
Say you are.

Take this cool dark steeled blade,
Steal it, sheath it, in your lake.
I’d drown with you to be together.
Must you breathe? Cos I need Heaven.”
Pablo
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Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
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16th Sep 04 at 08:52   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
LOVE THIS SHOW !!
Sims
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Registered: 15th Aug 03
Location: Bath/Bristol area Drove: 1994 Corsa SRi Now: VTR
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16th Sep 04 at 08:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
and my favorite Gareth scene ....

“I’m just saying there should be tests.”
“We’re all ears Gareth.”
“Well I don’t know, when they go down the DSS to make a claim then they should set off a fire alarm fake fire alarm, everybody legs it out the office leaving them there. If they’re fake they’ll be up and running with them, if they’re real they’ll be left there screaming for help.”
"thats just one idea"

pure quality
Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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16th Sep 04 at 09:06   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Cybermonkey24
another good one, keith talking to dawn about going to america and says

"in america they dont call them bumbags, they call the fannypacks, because in america fanny means your bum, not your minge"
cue scotch egg

Another good Keith mioment, "I guarantee them at least one orgasm" cue scorch egg
Pablo
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Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
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16th Sep 04 at 09:07   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


Jelly and the stapler !
Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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16th Sep 04 at 09:10   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
PMSL. TIm builds a fort then walks off when gareth calls him, its the look on tims face as he answers then walks off also gareth has a little peer over
Pablo
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Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
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16th Sep 04 at 09:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Natalie
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Registered: 5th Nov 03
Location: Oxfordshire Drives: Vauxhall Tigra 1.8
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16th Sep 04 at 09:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Xmas special:

Gareth: We need something for the old people.
Tim: Like Werthers Originals



And the other guy says Wet T-Shirt comp
Robbo
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Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
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16th Sep 04 at 09:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Youre actually writing this down, hes writing it doen Garteth we cannot have a wet t shirt comp!

Keith, yeah we can u jus need a bucket and some t shirts

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