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Author Joke
Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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23rd Apr 08 at 13:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Steve

No but seriously -

A boy takes his girlfriend home for a bit of fun, but finds his little brother is sleeping in the bottom bunk, undaunted they get in the top bunk.

He says to the girl ''we will use a code - if you want it harder say lettuce, and if you want a different position say tomato''

...... ''Lettuce lettuce tomato lettuce'' she says.

After a while his brother shouts ''will you two stop making fucking sandwiches, the mayonaise is dripping all over my face!!''
Neil Dagens
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Registered: 14th Apr 07
Location: Fareham, Hampshire
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23rd Apr 08 at 13:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
DannyB
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Registered: 6th Feb 08
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23rd Apr 08 at 13:45   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Wheres your coat mate, il get it for you
Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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23rd Apr 08 at 13:53   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
johnhara1
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Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
oldie but still funny
little_duke
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Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Tamworth,staffordshire Drives: rover coupe
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:08   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
love it!
Shelly
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Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:13   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Middle aged woman walks into the living room naked.

Husband says "why are you naked?"

She replies "this is my love dress"

Husband replies "well go and fookin iron it"
Russ
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Registered: 14th Mar 04
Location: Armchair
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:15   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
awfull shelly
Shelly
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Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:16   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Shelly
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Registered: 15th Nov 00
Location: Lancashire Drives: Astra H VXR
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:17   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Scientists have found a cure for homosexuality....

Lip balm

You rub it in your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away
Russ
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Location: Armchair
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:19   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
don't be glum chum, just try harder next time
Scotty C
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Registered: 6th Nov 05
Location: Kidderminster Drives: 1.6 16v Sport
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:20   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Shelly
Middle aged woman walks into the living room naked.

Husband says "why are you naked?"

She replies "this is my love dress"

Husband replies "well go and fookin iron it"


That was funny
Theham85
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Registered: 29th Nov 06
Location: Brisbane Queensland
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:33   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Those were quality jokes
Conway563
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Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Sure I posted this before but just reminded me of it.

Whilst at the zoo a young girl sees 2 monkeys having sex. 'Mummy, what are those monkeys doing?' she asks.
Unsure of what to say her mother thinks and finally say's 'They're err making cakes.'

The next day in the park they see 2 teenagers going at in the bushes. 'Mummy, what are those 2 doing?' she again asks. 'They're making cakes as well.' replies the mother.

A couple of days later the mother comes downstairs and finds her daughter eating breakfast. The youngster asks 'Mummy, were you and daddy making cakes in the living room last night?'
Astounded the mother panics and asks 'but, but, how did you know that?'















































'Because I licked the icing off the sofa.'
johnhara1
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Registered: 19th Oct 06
Location: Newcastle upon Tyne
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23rd Apr 08 at 14:59   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
/\ :sick:


Huwsi
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Registered: 27th Apr 07
Location: Bangor, Gwynedd
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23rd Apr 08 at 16:13   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Lmfao

 
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