stu_c
Member
Registered: 11th Dec 07
Location: Westleigh, Greater Manchester
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by flybikeslee
quote:
Originally posted by Brabus
quote:
Originally posted by andy1868
how do you get 1000 elephants in safeway?
you take the 'A' out of 'safe' and the 'F' out of 'way'
i dont get it?
me neither
THERS NO F IN WAY!!!
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Brabus
Member
Registered: 25th Oct 07
User status: Offline
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 was saying it to my mate...i dont get it, theres no F in way
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andy1868
Member
Registered: 22nd Jun 06
Location: Burscough, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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you are all n00bs of the highest order
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Danny H
Member
Registered: 10th Feb 05
Location: Gilberdyke, E Riding of Yorkshire
User status: Offline
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Northing, you've already told her twice.
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SVM 286
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Mein Herr
God calls Fernando Torres, Lionel Messi and Christiano Ronaldo (ct) for an audience.
He questions their belief.
Ronaldo says 'Footy be the food of life'
and God sits him to his left
Messi Says 'Courage, Honour and Passion on the pitch'
and God sits him to his right.
He says to Torres 'What do you believe in my son?'
And Torres replies
'I believe you are sitting in my seat.'
I don't get it.
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SVM 286
Member
Registered: 13th Feb 05
Location: pain
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Necromancer
Heres a joke I found quite funny...
The year is 2222, and a human couple are taking their first trip to Mars.
While there, they meet two Martians and the four of them get talking. They discuss the differences between Earth and Martian politics, technology, society - until finally the conversation turns to sex.
"Just how do you Martians do it?" asks the woman.
"Pretty much the way you do," respond the Martian couple.
After a few drinks, the four of them decide to try out a wife swap and check into a Martian motel.
The human woman and the Martian male disappear into the first available room, and he strips instantly to reveal his teeny, weenie willy, about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," sighs the woman. "It's just not long enough."
"No problem," bleeps the Martian, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm.
With each slap, his willy grows another inch, until it's really quite impressive.
"That's definitely an improvement," says the woman, "but it's still pretty narrow..."
Immediately, the Martian starts pulling his ears. With each tug, his willy widens until he measures up nicely. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "that's the biggest I've seen". And they fall into bed and make mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples meet up with their partners and go their separate ways.
"How was it for you?" the man asks his wife.
"I hate to say it," she replies, "but it was pretty mind-blowing. How about you?"
"Horrible," he replies. "She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
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