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Author Why men shouldn't go shopping
richardworrall
Premium Member

Registered: 20th Sep 05
Location: Derby
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 08:11   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

and turn your speakers on and listen to this

http://media.putfile.com/ASDA-Prank

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,




Charles Brown
Store Manager





[Edited on 08-02-2007 by richardworrall]

[Edited on 08-02-2007 by richardworrall]
Adam-D
Member

Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 08:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Marc
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Registered: 11th Aug 02
Location: York
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 08:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Got this on Tuesday
Fonz
Premium Member

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Registered: 12th May 06
Location: Newbury, Berks
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 08:43   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

love them all!!



Brill
j10E W
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Registered: 30th Sep 04
Location: maidstone
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 09:22   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Ben G
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Registered: 12th Jan 07
Location: Essex
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 09:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

very good read.
Aaron
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Registered: 9th Aug 04
Location: Cottingham, East Riding
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 09:28   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote



i love this type of humour
loubielou
Member

Registered: 14th Jan 07
Location: North Finchley, Greater London
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 09:34   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Brilliant
Mather.16v
Member

Registered: 1st Nov 04
Location: Stockport
User status: Offline
8th Feb 07 at 13:27   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


 
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