SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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SYMPTOM
FAULT
ACTION
Feet cold and wet.
Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
Feet warm and wet.
Improper bladder control.
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
Drink unusually pale and tasteless.
Glass empty.
Get someone to buy you another drink.
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
You have fallen over backward.
Have yourself lashed to bar.
Mouth contains cigarette butts.
You have fallen forward.
See above.
Alcohol tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
Floor blurred.
You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Get someone to buy you another drink.
Floor moving.
You are being carried out.
Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
Room seems unusually dark.
Bar has closed.
Confirm home address with bartender.
Taxi suddenly takes on colourful aspect and textures.
Alcohol consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
Cover mouth.
Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
You are dancing on the table.
Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
Drink is crystal-clear.
It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
Punch him.
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
You have been in a fight.
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
You've wandered into the wrong party.
See if they have free alcohol.
Your singing sounds distorted.
The drink is too weak.
Have more alcohol until your voice improves.
Don't remember the words to the song.
Drink is just right.
Play air guitar.
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JC!
Member
Registered: 24th Jul 06
Location: Bolton
User status: Offline
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 Quality!
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Robbo
Member
Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline
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Very good Hightower!
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CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by SteveW
Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
You are SteveW.
Deploy the clob on somebody cushy-looking.
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drunkenfool
Member
Registered: 7th Feb 03
Location: Hereford Drives: Audi R8 V8
User status: Offline
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I had to stop reading half way through cos im in one of the cimputer rooms at uni and on the verge of pissing myself with laughter
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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Schmazin
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A1EX
Member
Registered: 29th Mar 00
Location: Turku, Finland
User status: Offline
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Drink is crystal clear. It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
Punch him.
lmao!!
[Edited on 13-12-2006 by A1EX]
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dazavich
Member
Registered: 27th Sep 06
Location: Greenock, Inverclyde
User status: Offline
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Thats quality
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Doug
Member
Registered: 8th Oct 03
User status: Offline
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Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
You've wandered into the wrong party.
See if they have free alcohol.
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gavin18787
Premium Member
Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
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Drives supercharged Tec with torque  
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