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Tiger

Member

Registered: 12th Jun 01
Location: Leicestershire Drives:Astra VXR
User status: Offline

16th Oct 06 at 14:56

>>
>> One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
>> him "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"
>> "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike
>> replies."There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine
>> sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about
>> it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and
>> better than a doctor and you get Club Card points".
>>
>> So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
>> Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for
>> the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
>> seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow.
>> Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in
>> two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Tesco ".
>>
>> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
>> Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
>> water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
>> daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
>>
>> Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He
>> deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
>> The computer prints the following:
>> 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
>> 2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>> 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>> 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>> 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
>> never get better........
>> Thank you for shopping at Tesco.

corsa_chelle

Member

Registered: 6th Sep 06
Location: North Yorkshire
User status: Offline

16th Oct 06 at 15:00