Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun,come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too.
6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the NRL, Super 12 Rugby, Cricket, PGA, NBL, and Supercar series. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse Volvo drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger or hold his beer.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware. Or keep that sh*t to yourself, you flamming faggot!
9. If your name is Marty, Brent, Graeme, Josh, Chris, David, James, Alistair or Nat then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it.
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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i agree with all apart from the cat bit  
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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did you add in the Nat?
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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no?
stole this from another site
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mwg
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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a_j_mair
Member
Registered: 23rd Jan 04
Location: Scotland
User status: Offline
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i do not agree with 9
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by a_j_mair
i agree with 9 
G.A.Y 
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Tom
Member
Registered: 3rd Apr 02
Location: Wirral, Merseyside
User status: Offline
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FPMSL @ the way it sayd people are gay
forget it...you're hungry for man sausage
you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse.
Rest assured you're a gaylord
Some of my favourites
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evna
Member
Registered: 18th Oct 05
Location: Halesowen, Birmingham
User status: Offline
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7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse Volvo drivers or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger or hold his beer
I own a Volvo. Im not a slow driver. I shoot people who try to overtake
*Evna transforms into the incredible hulk and destroys his office in rage*
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too
thats my fav
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MatthewR
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline
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MatthewR
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 02
Location: Rickmansworth
User status: Offline
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6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse.
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James
Member
Registered: 1st Jun 02
Location: Surrey
User status: Offline
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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G.A.Y
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Jamie Walby
Member
Registered: 15th Nov 04
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by James
unlucky, my birth certificate reads Jamie
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--Dave--
Banned
Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
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Eck
Premium Member
Registered: 17th Apr 06
Location: Lundin Links, Fife
User status: Offline
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dung punching arse bandit
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Jamie Walby
quote:
Originally posted by James
unlucky, my birth certificate reads Jamie
thats also G.A.Y
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Lawrah
Premium Member
Registered: 25th Dec 04
User status: Offline
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Is there any for lessers edd?
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Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
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nah lessers are good
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abdus
Member
Registered: 23rd Feb 06
User status: Offline
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Jamie Walby
Member
Registered: 15th Nov 04
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by Edd
quote:
Originally posted by Jamie Walby
quote:
Originally posted by James
unlucky, my birth certificate reads Jamie
thats also G.A.Y
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Liam
Member
Registered: 19th Jan 06
Location: Stafford
User status: Offline
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If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a fag.
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-wylo-
Member
Registered: 4th Oct 04
Location: Dunfermline
User status: Offline
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HAHAHAHA thats brilliant!!
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