Icy
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
User status: Offline
|
A major hurricane (Senga) and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter
scale hit Glasgow in the early hours of Yesterday with its epicentre in
The Gorbals.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Pure mental,
man-no?".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of
damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Seville
were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were
disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
Clyde FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in The Gorbals.
One resident - Bernadette O'Reilly, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It
gied me a pure fright so's it did. My little Chardonnay-Mercedes came
running into my bedroom greetin'. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
Megan-Storm slept through it all. Ah wiz still shaking when I was
watching Trisha the next morning, so's ah wiz."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and
carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Buckfast to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are
still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of
personal belongings, including benefit books and Bone China from
Poundstretchers.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after - items most needed include:
-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots or Adidas trainers
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
-- Microwave chips
-- Pies from Greggs
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
-- Cans of Special Brew or bottle of Buckie.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and Irn Bru for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of
those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry
alcho-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked.
"Parkheed" said the girl, "wits that tae you?"
_________________
|
K2 GTi
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
|
heard this about every city in the country 
repost!
|
_Allan_
Member
Registered: 24th Mar 04
User status: Offline
|
Icy did a huricane whisk you away to a place with no net connection for the last 5 years?
|
3CorsaMeal
Member
Registered: 11th Apr 02
User status: Offline
|
i'm gonna do a steaming turd in this thread
|
gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
|
Jim, thats disgusting, im eating chocolate atm
|
Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
i'm gonna do a steaming turd in this thread
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm fudge brownie
|
vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by Edd
quote: Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
i'm gonna show a steaming gay in this thread

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm fudge packer
|
Edd
Member
Registered: 8th Nov 04
Location: Glasgow
User status: Offline
|
........................................
|
Icy
Member
Registered: 31st Jan 01
Location: Edinburgh Drives: Mk3 Golf Gti
User status: Offline
|
is this how we're playin it now
|
vibrio
Banned
Registered: 28th Feb 01
Location: POAH
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by Icy
is this how we're doin it now

|
Jamie Walby
Member
Registered: 15th Nov 04
User status: Offline
|
quote: Originally posted by 3CorsaMeal
i'm gonna do a steaming turd in this thread
That actually looks quite delicious
|