SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
me your damn chain letters over the past few years.
Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of
my heart for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of your concern...I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat faeces and urine.
I no longer use cling film in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day
I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being
plastic.
I dont go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume
sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes. (Geez, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!
I will now return the favor.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhoea will crap on your head at 5 0 PM
this afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a
friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my
next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd
husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
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stop press someone got a chain letter on the internet.
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mwg
Member
Registered: 19th Feb 04
Location: South Lakes
User status: Offline
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CBA to read it 
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by willay
stop press someone got a chain letter on the internet.
read it you fucking moron
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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i got a great chain email the other day...said at the bottom 'do not stop this chain mail, it has been going since 1892'...didnt knwo they had email back then
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CCA
Member
Registered: 6th Dec 04
Location: Somewhere Drives: Not a bloody Vauxhall!
User status: Offline
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at willay
ditto to that matty
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Tiger_kpt
Member
Registered: 2nd Apr 05
Location: Retford, Nottinghamshire
User status: Offline
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That's well funny. But... also a very understandable rant. IMAO.
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
|
quote:
Originally posted by SteveW
quote:
Originally posted by willay
stop press someone got a chain letter on the internet.
read it you fucking moron
Moron? Excuse me Moron who pasted a chain letter. 
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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quote:
Originally posted by willay
quote:
Originally posted by SteveW
quote:
Originally posted by willay
stop press someone got a chain letter on the internet.
read it you fucking moron
Moron? Excuse me Moron who pasted a chain letter.
dont start you lil smartass
was just a funny thing i recieved...
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willay
Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member
Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline
|
thought your boss was clamping down on your CS abuse anyway?
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SteveW
Member
Registered: 15th Jul 02
Location: Up in the clouds
User status: Offline
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well he aint here today 
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K2 GTi
Member
Registered: 21st Oct 04
User status: Offline
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thats quality
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