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Author How true are these ... ?
WyrdSister
Member
Registered: 11th Sep 05
Location: New Zealand
User status: Offline
   8th Oct 05 at 17:23   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
How true are these ... ?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.................................49.
Adventurous........................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking...................Moooo.
Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.............On medication.
Feminist.............................Fat.
Free spirit...........................Junkie.
Friendship first.....................Former slut.
New-Age.............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned......................No BJs.
Open-minded......................Desperate.
Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.......................Bitch.
Voluptuous.........................Very Fat.
Large frame........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate................Stalker.


WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
Sam
Moderator
Premium Member

Registered: 24th Dec 99
Location: West Midlands
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:25   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Rus
Member
Registered: 24th Jan 05
Location: SE London, Kent
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:29   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
yeah there true
Charlene
Member
Registered: 29th Sep 04
Location: Darlington
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
true
chris_uk
Premium Member

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Registered: 8th Jul 03
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:33   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
lol
Smiffie
Member
Registered: 26th Feb 04
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:37   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
true
CorsAsh
Member
Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
last one made me PMSL
Adam-D
Member
Registered: 11th May 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:39   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


but

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = no
3. Maybe = No
stinga
Member
Registered: 3rd Sep 05
Location: Towcester, UK
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:49   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
the last ones well funny! FPMSL
gianluigi
Member
Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 17:51   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 18:31   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
Very true
gavin18787
Premium Member

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Registered: 22nd Feb 05
Location: Basildon, Essex
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 20:29   View Garage View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


Drives supercharged Tec with torque
Andrew
Member
Registered: 5th May 04
Location: Skoda Octavia Estate, Ford Puma
User status: Offline
8th Oct 05 at 20:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote
fpmsl

 
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