Cybermonkey
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Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Robotic barbarian beefcake Arnold Schwarzenegger has been muscled out of Hollywood following a hamstring of weedy flicks and has now started work in his hardest role yet: rolling back the prices at Asdas.
Austrian Arnold, ousted from his post as last action hero by several next action heroes, decided to move to the Big Smoke and work in the wide 'spaz-friendly' aisles of the big Beak Street Asda "Metro" after conceding that he was probably a bit too bright to be president.
Arnold’s main duties now include organising total product recalls and jingling all the way to the tills with extra bags of two pees (not toupees). However, Asda say they have “made it fucking and abundantly clear” that the star’s contract will be terminated instantly if he Asda-smacks any girls’ arses with his colossal concrete mitts.
A new series of Asda adverts featuring the Nazi muscleman's muscles will begin next month. The first, in which Arnold deals with a customer’s tricky bacon-based query, will be a return to form for the Kindergarten Flop, culminating in his popular catch phrase, “Aisle B, back.”
Subsequent ads will see Arnold shooting tinned foods with his pricing gun; turning into 'Mr Freeze' in the frozen peas section; throwing sprouts at the muscles from Brussels; and trolley-dashing through the aisles in a Running Man-style take on Supermarket Sweep, armed with rocket launchers, wheel-knives and a fetching yet affordable pair of George sunglasses.


"Aisle be back". Arnold keeps his colleagues rolling (back) in the aisles with his self-parodying quippery.
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gianluigi
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Registered: 9th Mar 05
Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
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monkeh, r u some kind of thread whore ?
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Cybermonkey
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Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
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no, but i know what you are
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SetH
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Registered: 15th Jul 01
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Thats the most unfunny thing ive read all year?
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Cybermonkey
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Registered: 22nd Sep 02
Location: Sydney, Australia
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CorsAsh
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Registered: 19th Apr 02
Location: Munich
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Adam_B
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Registered: 13th Dec 00
Location: Lancashire
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and now the thread is good
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