NovaGTE
Member
Registered: 16th Dec 02
User status: Offline
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> > > An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a
> > > garment
> >on
> > > the
> > > counter "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she
> >says.
> > >
> > >
> > > "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
> > >
> > > "No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."
> > > >>>
> > > >>> ==========================
> > > >>>
> > > Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
> > > The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
> > > She says "I'll take the red one."
> > > The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
> > > >>>
> > > >>> ========================
> > > >>>
> > > An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped
> > > and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
> > > Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you
> > > some questions. OK?"
> > > Girl: "OK."
> > > Medic: "What's your name?"
> > > Girl: "Sharon."
> > > Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
> > > Sharon: "Yes."
> > > Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
> > > Sharon: "Romford, mate."
> > > >>>
> > > >>> =========================
> > > >>>
> > > An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.
> > > It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just
heard
>
> > > on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13.
> > > Please be careful!"
> > >
> > > "It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds
> > > of them!"
> > > >>>
> > > >>> =========================
> > > >>>
> > > Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash there's
> > > blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out
of
> > > the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
> > > Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
> > > Girl: "Ok."
> > > Medic: "Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?"
> > > Girl: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
> > > >>>
> > > >>> ==========================
> > > >>>
> > > Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl
> > > notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is
> > > wearing. She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink,
> > > but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's
> > > got an R on it ?
> > >
> > > So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and
> > > replies, "Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R
on
>
> > > it is for me
> >roight
> > >
> > > foot and the one with the L is for me left foot"
> > >
> > > "Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers
> > > 'ave got C&A on them."
>
>
> "Shut up.. I'm tired of your stupid Hymns"
> -God
>
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