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Author Old but still funny as hell
Jason Iles
Member

Registered: 19th Jun 01
Location: Bristol
User status: Offline
17th Mar 05 at 16:38   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day;
he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale' sign on it.The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 Years old. It is shiny and in
absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.


"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.


That night his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.
Naturally, they take the bike there.But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my
family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."


"No problem," he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.They sit down
to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.


As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her boobs. Still, nobody says a word.

So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and has his way with her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks.


So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and again has his
way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.


Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.


Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, that's enough, I'll do the f*****g dishes!"
TNM
Member

Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
17th Mar 05 at 16:40   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

leeshez
Member

Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
17th Mar 05 at 16:41   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Pablo
Member

Registered: 3rd Feb 03
Location: Milton Keynes
User status: Offline
17th Mar 05 at 16:42   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

CCA
Member

Registered: 6th Dec 04
Location: Somewhere Drives: Not a bloody Vauxhall!
User status: Offline
17th Mar 05 at 16:45   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

--Dave--
Banned

Registered: 17th Feb 04
Location: Essssseeeeex Drives: Black Supra TT
User status: Offline
17th Mar 05 at 16:46   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote




 
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