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Author Funny Quotes from Insurance Claims
hazey-corsa
Member

Registered: 24th Jun 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
28th Jan 05 at 13:54   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."

"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."

"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."

"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."

"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

"I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."

"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."

"I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."

"The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

Wayne
Member

Registered: 19th May 04
Location: Haslingden, Lancashire
User status: Offline
28th Jan 05 at 13:55   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

bolloxs to reading all that
hazey-corsa
Member

Registered: 24th Jun 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
28th Jan 05 at 13:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

Well I have a lot of time on my hands as I am poorly and house prone!
Wayne
Member

Registered: 19th May 04
Location: Haslingden, Lancashire
User status: Offline
28th Jan 05 at 13:56   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

heard out about ur car yet? if its a rite off?
TNM
Member

Registered: 5th Apr 04
Location: Nottingham Drives: VW Tiguan
User status: Offline
28th Jan 05 at 14:03   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote


"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."



Heard them all millions of time before tho.
hazey-corsa
Member

Registered: 24th Jun 02
Location: Cheshire
User status: Offline
28th Jan 05 at 14:04   View User's Profile U2U Member Reply With Quote

quote:
Originally posted by lazerbluesxi
heard out about ur car yet? if its a rite off?


Nope not yet but should be getting a courtesy car this afternoon

 
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