leeshez
Member
Registered: 3rd May 01
Location: Great Harwood, Lancashire
User status: Offline
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This might have been posted before if so sorry, but here goes,
Be proud to be in England because...
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have 'call waiting' so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION.........
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
9 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolates.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
AND FINALLY.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet............................
RULE BRITANNIA!!
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corsa starter
Member
Registered: 20th Jan 03
User status: Offline
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31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
thts just plain dumb 
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Lynny
Member
Registered: 3rd Jan 03
Location: oop north! Where people talk properly
User status: Offline
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i stuck this on the notice board at work 
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Dave
Member
Registered: 26th Feb 01
Location: Lancs
User status: Offline
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3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
This can kill 
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corsa starter
Member
Registered: 20th Jan 03
User status: Offline
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ye tad worryin might stop doin tht lol
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Fraser Young
Member
Registered: 26th Dec 02
Location: Dundee City Drives: 58 Impreza WRX
User status: Offline
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^yeh in people with pacemakers n heart arrythmias
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Doug
Member
Registered: 8th Oct 03
User status: Offline
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quote:
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
Ummmmmmmmmm. What about America!!! 
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