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willay

Moderator
Organiser: South East, National Events
Premium Member

Registered: 10th Nov 02
Location: Roydon, Essex
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 11:52

quote:
Originally posted by Rallye106
Are you being serious? why is everyone changing their name haha mad.

cause its not cool to have words like Nova and Pug and Corsa in your username

Robbo

Member

Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 11:53

Umm, no vat jokes but i DO have a classic audit joke...

Why did the auditor cross the road?

Cos thats what they did last year

Boom-tish, im here all week

PS we are expected to laugh at that kind of crap any time a large group of finance people converge

[Edited on 02-04-2008 by Robbo]

Robbo

Member

Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 11:58

http://www.tax.org.uk/showarticle.pl?id=1256

Hammer

Member

Registered: 11th Feb 04
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:02

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

lil_g

Member

Registered: 29th Oct 06
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:02

I'm back

Robbo

Member

Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:03

quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

Older than time itself

Kellye

Member

Registered: 23rd Aug 06
Location: southport, Drives:
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:03

quote:
Originally posted by willay

quote:
Originally posted by Rallye106
Are you being serious? why is everyone changing their name haha mad.

cause its not cool to have words like Nova and Pug and Corsa in your username

Can I change my name then

Robbo

Member

Registered: 6th Aug 02
Location: London
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:04

u2u Ian or Tim

Fro

Member

Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:06

Kel! I saw a girl on the train this morning that looked alot like you - She was short and everything

Conway563

Member

Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:14

Gregg

lil_g

Member

Registered: 29th Oct 06
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:15

Joe, how are you mate?

Conway563

Member

Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:15

Getting there mate, you?

Tommy L

Member

Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:20

quote:
Originally posted by willay

quote:
Originally posted by Rallye106
Are you being serious? why is everyone changing their name haha mad.

cause its not cool to have words like Nova and Pug and Corsa in your username

Tommy L

Member

Registered: 21st Aug 06
Location: Northampton Drives: Audi wagon
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:20

I laughed at Robbo's joke

Phi

Member

Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:21

mmm apple tango

why did my account get logged out..i had to go find my password .. meh

loubielou

Member

Registered: 14th Jan 07
Location: North Finchley, Greater London
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:21

i dont get robs joke

loubielou

Member

Registered: 14th Jan 07
Location: North Finchley, Greater London
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:22

do ineed to send the battery back with my phone? ive take the memory card and sim card otu

Conway563

Member

Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:23

Yes lou

lil_g

Member

Registered: 29th Oct 06
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:25

quote:
Originally posted by Conway563
Getting there mate, you?

I'm good mate

Broke mind

Only got paid 2 days ago

Phi

Member

Registered: 8th Jan 07
Location: South
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:27

im going to debadge back of car this week i think...going to take 'Vauxhall' off ad replace it with some thing special!

Fad

Member

Registered: 1st Feb 01
Location: Dartford Kent Drives: 330cd
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:27

quote:
Originally posted by corsa_tomtom
I laughed at Robbo's joke

Same the old accountant in me

Fro

Member

Registered: 20th Jun 06
Location: Rainham, Essex Drives: A3 2.0TDi Sport
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:27

quote:
Originally posted by lil_g

quote:
Originally posted by Conway563
Getting there mate, you?

I'm good mate

Broke mind Only got paid 2 days ago

Conway563

Member

Registered: 7th Jun 06
Location: Yate, Bristol
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:27

Thats the only thing thats got better since we seperated. I've now got an extra £600 a month

loubielou

Member

Registered: 14th Jan 07
Location: North Finchley, Greater London
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:28

quote:
Originally posted by Conway563
Thats the only thing thats got better since we seperated. I've now got an extra £600 a month

bank transfer will be fine

Fad

Member

Registered: 1st Feb 01
Location: Dartford Kent Drives: 330cd
User status: Offline

2nd Apr 08 at 12:29

She needs to top up her glow

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